Burning in Me
by suspect tomatoes
Summary: Nothing could change the past. He was hopeless. Randy/OC.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Ironically, I wrote this story about two months ago, when I was missing the good old days when Randy had an anger problem. Seeing as he's gone back to his old ways - albeit kayfabe - I've decided now is the perfect time to debut this.**

"Hey, Lil?"

Lily Matthews looked up from the legal pad on her desk, blinking at the person in her doorway over her glasses. "Yes, Tyler?"

Tyler Wilson was notorious for lusting after most of the women in the office, but Lily was his number one hunt. He never left her alone. "Uh, I was just wondering when you're taking a break."

"I already took it."

"You did?"

"Yep." She sliced her pen through something on the notebook. "Had a cigarette outside. Sorry."

"Oh. That's... that's okay. I just... I wanted to see if – "

"Tyler, get back to the front desk." Steven Cole pushed past the young intern, glaring at him when he didn't leave the doorway. "_Tyler_."

The boy looked up, dreamy gaze fading.

"Get back to the desk. There are people waiting."

"Oh." Tyler stumbled back, catching himself on the door frame. "Okay. Yes, sir."

Steven turned back to Lily's amused face, rolling his eyes. "You need to let that boy down, and _fast_."

"I've tried, he doesn't listen to me."

"You're a therapist; don't you manipulate people for a living?"

"Yeah, but he doesn't pay me." Lily winked, catching sight of the file in his hand. "New client?"

"Yours, actually. Kind of fucked up, so be prepared."

"Aren't they all?" Lily took the lumpy folder, flipping open to the first page. Her heart started pumping when she caught sight of this nutjob – he looked anything but crazy. Such a smile, such a glint in his eye... "What's he do?"

"He's a wrestler."

"I'm not surprised," she murmured, flipping pages. "They're all crazy."

"This guy takes the cake. Has an anger problem, apparently." Steven bent over the desk, his tie brushing the file, and started crinkling the notes, pointing at certain spots. "Work's making him come in here, or they fire him."

"Threats usually work."

"That doesn't sound promising." Steven pulled back another stapled packet. "Here's him with his father. Guess he was a wrestler, too."

Lily ran her finger down the handsome boy's face, perusing his dad. "I know him. I mean, I've seen him before."

"Hall of Famer, I guess. Doesn't matter. Look at this."

Lily turned to the next page, frowning when she saw him with his arm around some brunette. "That his wife?"

"Yeah."

Damn it.

"They have a daughter."

_God_damn it.

Lily nodded, closing the file. "All right."

Steven tapped the top. "He's out in the waiting room filling out some paperwork. I suggest you don't make him wait."

"Think he'll pull one of his moves on me?"

"Not the wrestling kind. He's bit of a player, too. Says it somewhere in there. Guess he had some marriage problems because of it."

Lily bit her lip. That sounded promising. "Okay. Send him in."

"Sounds good." Steven stopped in the doorway. "But, Lily?"

She looked up.

"Be careful."

* * *

An hour and a half. An hour and a half had already gone by, and he still didn't say anything. He just sat there with his arms crossed, staring at his thighs. Thighs that could perplex even the _smartest_ person.

How were they that _big_?

Lily cleared her throat. "Um, Mr. Orton?"

He didn't look up.

"Mr. Orton, I'm not the bad guy."

Silence.

She sighed and picked up her pen, tapping it against the desk. "Listen. I'll cut you a deal. If you start talking, I promise to not pull the concerned therapist act."

His head was still bent, but his eyes averted away from his legs, to the bookshelf parallel to his seat.

"Mr. Orton – "

"Will you _stop_ tapping your _pen_?" he gritted, eyes on the books.

Lily could see his fists clenching underneath his arms. "Are you angry right now, Mr. Orton?"

He finally looked at her, that blue-eyed gaze illuminated from the window behind her desk. "Am I _angry_?"

"Yes."

"No. I'm _not_ angry."

"Are you sure?"

He stared at her, emotionless, and ran his tongue along the inside of his bottom lip.

Lily reached for her coffee mug. "Are you thirsty?"

He snorted and sat back, laying his hands on the arm rests.

"I take that as a no."

He rolled his eyes and looked away.

She put her cup down. "Mr. Orton – Randy. May I call you Randy?"

"What's stopping you?"

"Your input."

He ground his teeth. "Yes."

"Okay. Randy. Why are you here today?"

"I don't know."

"Sure, you do."

"You calling me a liar?"

Lily shook her head. "Absolutely not. I'm just - "

"You're what? What are you doing?" He leaned forward, gripping the arms of the chair tightly. "You know _everything_ about me. Everything. I don't have to tell you _shit_."

"If I knew everything about you, I'd be able to help you. But I don't, so I can't. Will you help me help _you_, Randy?"

"Jesus _Christ_." He almost laughed. _Almost_. "Where do you get this stuff? Is there a book that tells you all the cheesy therapist lines?"

"Yes. It's called college."

He stared at her blankly.

She sighed. "Okay, Randy. I'm tearing the wall down. All right?"

Nothing.

"Look. You're here because your job's making you. _I'm_ here because I thought therapists make a lot of money. For future reference, just in case you're thinking about going into the profession, _they don't_."

Not even a smile.

"So, let's just do this. Let's talk, I'll write some things down, you'll go back to work and I'll get paid. Does that sound okay to you?"

"No."

Lily fiddled with her pen to keep calm. "Why not?"

Randy sighed, slumping slightly. His wall was coming down, too. Lily could see it.

_Puts up a front_, she wrote discreetly.

She looked up, meeting his gaze. "What's the matter, Randy?"

He glanced away.

"Randy – "

"I have an anger problem." He bent forward and laced his fingers between his knees, keeping his head down. "And I need help."

Lily nodded. "That's good, Randy. First step is – "

"Identifying the problem, I know. You're not the first shrink I've visited."

"I'm not a shrink, Randy. Do you think you're crazy?"

"No."

"That's good. I'm here to help you, not judge you. Please understand that."

"I do." He sighed again, putting his hands to his mouth. "That's not the problem, though."

"What isn't?"

"The anger thing."

Lily frowned. "What is it, then?"

He didn't answer, just slowly slid his fingers up, covering his eyes. Lily watched the silver wedding band glimmer in the light.

"Take your time, Randy."

Another fifteen minutes passed, and Randy just sat there, slowly unwinding. Finally, he showed his face, his eyes red. He wasn't crying, though.

Lily smiled sympathetically. "Ready?"

Randy nodded. "Yeah."

Lily waited, pen over her papers.

"I um..." Randy swallowed hard.

"It's okay, Randy."

He looked at her. "I murdered my wife."

**A/N: Heh heh heh. I hope you enjoyed it. Review.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Oh, Randy.**

All she wanted was coffee.

After Randy Orton had left the day before, all of the interns and younger workers hounded Lily for details about the handsome Superstar. When they were greeted with a blank stare, they figured it was because he was too good-looking to talk about, and decided to leave it at that.

If only they knew.

Today, however, they came back and asked her again. They must've thought she needed some time to cool down before she could actually speak.

"I... I need coffee," she mumbled.

They followed her into the break room.

"Did he try anything?" one young receptionist asked. She was pretty, but she wore too much make-up. Lily just stared at the black lining her lids.

"No, he didn't try anything."

* * *

_Lily sat silently._

_Randy started cracking his knuckles. "Yeah."_

"_You... You murdered your wife?"_

_He nodded. "No one knows. God, I didn't even know."_

"_You didn't..." Lily swallowed the lump in her throat. "You didn't know?"_

"_No. When I get angry – infuriated – I black out."_

"_You... black out."_

"_Didn't I just say that?"_

"_Yes. I'm sorry, Randy, I'm just trying to put it all together – "_

"_Put what together?" He stood up, fists clenching at his sides. "What are you putting together, Doc?"_

_Lily's eyes widened. "No, Randy, I meant... I'm trying to get my head around this." She paused, waiting for him to sit down. He didn't. "Are... Does anyone else know?"_

"_No. It's solely in your hands."_

_Lily groaned, covering her face. "When did it happen?"_

"_About a month ago."_

"_Well, what about an investigation?" _

_Randy looked away._

_Lily blinked. "You did call the cops, right?"_

"_How could I call the cops?" Randy turned, crossing his arms. "I murdered my fucking wife!"_

"_Randy, calm down – "_

"_No!" He spun abruptly, slamming his hands against the edge of her desk. "I will not calm down."_

_Lily slid her chair back and stumbled to her feet. "Randy, listen – "_

_He blocked her off, standing tall._

_She looked up at him. "Step back, Randy."_

"_You're not going to tell anyone, right?"_

"_Randy, you need to – "_

_He lunged forward, slamming his big hands against her shoulders, pressing her back against the floor to ceiling window hard enough to crack it. "Listen. I didn't tell anyone else about this. And I'm not going to."_

_Lily whimpered._

_He thumped her against it again, harder. "You know my secret. And it's going to stay that way."_

"_Randy – "_

"_I'll fucking kill you," he hissed. His eyes traveled up and down her quickly as his jaw clenched. "I got away with one murder, I can get away with two."_

_Lily let out a breath when he stepped back, turning for the door._

_He paused with his hand on the knob. "Hey, Doc?"_

_Lily cleared her throat before she spoke. "Yes?"_

"_How much is this gonna cost me?"_

_Lily braced herself against her chair. "No charge."_

_He smirked and laughed a little, shutting the door behind him._

* * *

"He's so hot," a tiny girl in the back sighed. "If I were you, I would've asked him on a date myself."

Lily slammed her cup down on the counter, sloshing hot liquid onto her hand. "Will you kids give it a fucking rest? You're professionals, for Christ's sake. If you're not mature enough for your positions, I'll be sure to get someone a little more qualified."

All them stared at her, eyes wide with fear and confusion.

"Guess I'm not the only one with an anger problem."

Lily looked up, her breath catching in her throat. Randy was leaning against the door frame, hands in his pockets, a small smile on his handsome face.

She could hear all her co-workers sigh as she stepped toward him. "You're not allowed in here."

"I got a VIP pass." He grinned at the giggling girls behind her, but when she came closer, his eyes got dark. "I need to talk to you," he said lowly.

"Well, you need an appointment."

"I have one. Every Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday at two o'clock." He glanced at his watch. "And you're late, Doc."

Lily could feel her palms sweating. "I suppose I should apologize."

"Don't worry about it. I probably won't even show up tomorrow, but this is slightly important."

Lily nodded. "Okay. In my office, please."

Randy followed her out, casting a quick smirk at the girls watching them, and walked a step behind her the entire way. When they reached her office, he moved in closer, his breath on her neck. "Something the matter?"

Lily moved away quickly, shutting the door. "I should be asking the questions."

He smiled as she took a seat behind her desk. "That's very true."

"What brought you here, Randy?"

"My job."

Lily flapped her hand. "You said you had to talk to me about something. Something important."

"Oh. Right." He sat down. "Did I attack you yesterday?"

Lily choked on her coffee, glancing up at him with watery eyes. She swiveled away and coughed until she could breathe again.

Randy sighed. "I take that as a yes."

Lily cleared her throat, wiping her hands on the napkin she'd brought with her. "You nearly broke my back."

"What'd you say?"

"I said, you nearly broke my – "

"No. Yesterday."

"Oh." Lily shrugged. "Nothing. You started saying that I was the only person who knew about your wife, and that it was going to stay that way."

Randy leaned back in his seat. "You didn't say anything else?"

"I... Well, I asked you if you called the police."

Lily saw Randy's hand flex against the arm rest.

She glanced up at his face. It was perfectly calm, his blue eyes cool. "And... I kept telling you to calm down. But that's it."

Randy's eyes narrowed just slightly. "You told me to calm down?"

"Yes."

"I'm gonna warn you right now, Doc." He cocked his head. "Don't _ever_ tell me to calm down."

"That's... kind of my job, isn't it?"

His jaw clenched. "Your job is to calm me down, not _tell _me to."

"Fair enough."

He paused, breathing out heavily through his nose. "What happened after you told me to calm down?"

"You... pushed me against the window."

He smirked slightly.

"You almost broke my shoulders." Lily rubbed them slightly. "They still hurt."

"I'm sorry." He rested his foot on his knee. Lord knew if he could actually cross his legs with those thighs. "Anything else?"

"Why do I have to recap for you?" she growled. "Don't you remember?"

"No."

Lily blinked. "You don't remember?"

"No. I told you, Doc, I black out when I get angry."

"You said infuriated."

He smiled slightly. "That's anger."

"I know that's anger, but you didn't seem infuriated."

"I'm proud of myself, then." He pulled at his shirt slightly. "Must be getting some self-control."

Lily's eyes lingered on the fabric stretched tightly over his chest. She met his gaze. "You blacked out yesterday?"

"Guess so. I remember when I told you about my... " He rolled his hand. "Situation. But after that, all I remember was going home."

Lily sat back. "I've certainly got my work cut out for me."

"Are you hitting on me?"

Lily smiled and looked away. "No, Mr. Orton, I'm not."

"Good." His eyes sizzled. "I didn't think you were that stupid."

**A/N: I'm hitting on Randy Orton. Review.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: It's been a while. Sorry.**

"_There's just something about you, Doc." His hand slid down her arm, the tiny strap of her dress trapped under his fingers. "There's just... something about you."_

"_What?"_

_He moved in closer, lips against her neck. His other hand dragged against the fabric of her dress. "There's just something about you, Doc."_

_She could barely breathe. She grabbed his head. "What's that?"_

_His blue eyes snapped up. "I want to kill you."_

_

* * *

_

Lily jerked awake when the phone beside her started shrilling. She willed her heart to slow as she pressed a hand to her forehead, trying to catch her breath. Was it the dream or the ringing that frightened her so badly?

"What time is it?"

Lily looked over at her boyfriend, breathing hard. "I'm not sure. I just hope it's before two."

Jim yawned, rolling away from her. "You gonna answer it?"

"Yeah." Lily sighed heavily, clunking the receiver out of its holder. "Hello?"

"Doc."

Lily's throat closed up.

"Doc, are you there?"

She swallowed hard. "Uh, yes. Yes, Randy, what is it?"

"I need your help. Oh, _shit_." He was breathless. "I need your fucking help."

She sat up. "Is everything all right?"

"No! I need—_fuck_. Oh, my God. Doc, you gotta help me."

"Randy, I don't know what I can do—"

"Doc, _please_." His voice was so soft, so desperate. "I need your help."

Lily sighed, pressing her forehead to her bent knees. "All right. Where are you?"

"My house. You know where it is, don't you?"

"I can just look it up if I don't." She threw the covers off. "I'll be there in ten minutes."

"You're a lifesaver, doc." He sounded like he was going to hang up, but he hesitated. "Well, kind of."

* * *

All the lights were off when Lily pulled in behind Randy's Hummer. Even though it was well after four, the looming house was still eerie. She got out and headed to the door in the dark silence.

He opened it before she knocked. "Thank God. Get inside."

She stumbled into the house as he slammed the door behind her and grabbed her elbow on his way back, pulling her up the stairs. "Randy, I just want to tell you I think this is incredibly inappropriate, and I—"

"We're not coming up here to fuck, Doc." He took her down a long hallway, stopping at the door at the end. "I want to warn you before I open this... can of worms, if you will."

She blinked at him.

He sighed, leaning on the doorknob. "What you're going to see is... very disturbing. But I need your help because her work called today and I don't know what I'm—"

"Wait, Randy." Lily stopped, resisting to put her hand to her mouth. "Is your... Is your _wife_ in there?"

"No! Of course not."

She let out a sigh of relief.

Randy flung the door open. "It's the nanny."

Lily screamed at the top of her lungs, but Randy was quick, his big hand clapping over her mouth tightly.

"Don't fucking scream, don't fucking move," he hissed. His eyes slid to the room. "Just go inside and help me figure out what to do."

She pushed against him, voice muffled. "Let go of me, or I'll—"

"You'll what?" He grinned, eyes flashing. "Call the cops?"

Lily swallowed hard against his hand.

He stepped back, motioning to the door. "Go inside. Help me figure out what to do with her."

Lily stared up at him and shuddered at the crazed look in his eye. She sighed and went into the room. "Who is she?"

"I don't know. I think her name's Jessica."

"You don't know her?"

"She's only here when I'm not home." He shut the door. "I hired her to take care of my daughter after my wife was... indisposed."

Lily smiled slightly. "Interesting alternative to _murdered_."

Randy's lip twitched. "You judgin' me, Doc?"

"No, no." Lily sighed, glancing sickly at the girl. "How did you... I mean, how did she become... _indisposed_?"

Randy shook his head slowly. "I don't know."

"How do you not know? You _killed_—"

"I black out, remember?"

Lily paused. "Oh. Right."

He nodded.

"Well." She turned to her, hand poised over the body. "Do you remember what she—"

"Don't _touch_ her!" Randy reached out and snatched her hand, practically snapping it back. "Are you out of your fucking mind?"

"No, but _you_ are. Let _go _of me."

"Listen, Doc. I just saved your ass. Treat me with a little respect."

"You _murdered_ two people. You honestly think you deserve respect?"

His eyes sizzled. "For not making it _three_ people? Yeah, I do."

She held her head high. "Was that a threat, Mr. Orton?"

He bared his teeth as he stepped up to her, head bent down. "If you had _touched_ her, your _fingerprints_ would've been on her body."

"And yours aren't?"

"I haven't touched her."

"How do you know? You black out, remember?"

Randy growled. "Well, it's not like she's going to get an autopsy."

"Exactly my point. I don't owe you anything because you didn't save my ass."

Randy's hand clenched at his side. "Don't fuck with me, Doc."

"Don't fuck with _me_. I didn't take you as my patient to be dragged out at four in the fucking morning to be an accomplice to a _murder_."

"I didn't murder her!" He glanced at the girl, eyes narrowed. "She just pissed me off."

"You're pissing _me_ off, and _you're_ not dead."

"That's enough," he growled.

"I'm the doctor—I'll tell you when it's enough. And right now, it's—"

"That's _enough_!" His hand came up and around her neck in a matter of seconds, gripping tight enough to send her into darkness. "Don't fucking _mock me_, Doc."

Lily gasped. "Randy, I can't—"

"You think this is so _funny_, Doc?" His eyes hit the light coming in from the moon, crystal in their insanity. "You won't think it's funny when you're fucking _dead_. _I'll_ be the one laughing."

"Randy, I can't _breathe_!"

"Good." His other hand came up, lacing around the other side. "Maybe I should just choke the life out of you. Watch your pretty eyes go _dull_."

Lily hissed, crawling at his big fingers. It was no use. Her head was swimming. "Randy, I'm... dizzy... "

"Don't worry, _Doc_." His grip tightened. "It'll all be over soon."

Her eyes were starting to roll back. The air was literally getting squeezed out of her, and it was just a matter of time before—

The soft cry of a baby floated past the closed door.

Randy immediately let go of her, hands up, fingers spread. His eyes were disbelieving as she collapsed to the floor.

Lily hacked, inhaling sharply.

He hit the wall and gripped his head with both hands. "Oh, _shit_."

She glared up at him, breathing heavily. "_What_?"

"Oh, God." He covered his mouth. "My God."

"What the fuck is your problem?"

"I just... I almost..." He covered his eyes. "Oh, my God."

"You just what? You almost what?"

"I almost..." He looked up. "_Killed_ you."

"_Really_?" She got to her feet. "I'm leaving. I won't be surprised if you don't make it to your appointment. I just hope you're in jail by then."

"No, wait—"

"_No_." She held up her hand. "No. I won't. I'm not sticking around to help you. I've never said this to anyone in my life, let alone a patient, but Randy Orton? _You_ are a fucking _psycho_."

She threw open the door and headed for the stairs, barely containing the tears building up in her eyes.

He came out slowly. "Lily."

She stopped at the top.

"Lily, please," he whispered.

She looked at him, swallowing the lump in her throat, blinking back the tears. "_What_?"

He glanced down the hallway. "Please."

"Please _what_?"

"Take care of my daughter." He shook his head, thumping into the wall next to him. "I can't... I can't do it right now. I'm afraid I'll hurt her."

Lily scoffed slightly. "Are you _kidding_ me?"

"No." He hurried past her, clomping down the stairs. "Please, just... just take care of her. I need to... I need to go."

She gaped as he went for the front door. "Are you _insane_?"

"Yes," was all he said, and shut it behind him.

**A/N: Randy can choke me. Review.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Randy deserves this cuz of his wonderfully handsome face on Monday. Names changed to protect the innocent. I felt weird using their real names.**

Lily didn't have kids for a reason. She couldn't fathom how a woman could throw her life and freedom away for a monster that takes her for everything's she got. It didn't make sense. All they did was cry and bitch and moan and leave when they felt it was appropriate.

But when Lily walked into that done up nursery and saw the kicking brunette in that crib, her wall cracked just a bit. It had to be her eyes, those brilliant blue eyes that shone in the moonlight just like her dad's had.

That was hours ago. She'd finally gotten Holly to go back to asleep, and by that time, the sun was coming up. Lily really didn't want to wait around for Randy to come stumbling back in—with another possible murder attempt—but she couldn't just leave the baby by herself.

She made herself comfortable in his living room, staring at the big screen TV in front of her. She couldn't figure out how to turn it on, so she ended up scoping his bookshelves, looking for something to read.

There was a shelf dedicated to his wedding, with a wilted, white rose stuck in a folded ceremony program. They looked so incredibly happy, sitting at the head table, smiling for the camera, dancing with each other, kissing at the alter. Lily saw the rose sticking out of his wife's hair in one of the pictures, and she absent-mindedly touched the one in front of her. A petal crunched off in her hands.

How could he have _killed her_?

Her phone started buzzing on the end table, startling her, and she broke off another petal. She let it drop as she headed for the device, flipping it open without checking the caller ID.

"Randy?"

There was a pause. "Who's Randy?"

"Oh." She pressed her open palm to her heart. "Jim. Where are you?"

"I'm at work, babe." His words were enunciated, almost worried. "The better question is, where are you?"

"I'm still at Randy's."

He waited a beat. "Why?"

"Because he... he's having some issues."

"Did he try something?"

"What do you mean?"

"Did he put his hands on you?" He hissed out a breath. "I swear to God, Lily, I'll come there right now and—"

"No, he didn't, Jim." Lily bit her fingernail. "He's just really messed up. I almost pity him."

"You sure he's harmless?"

She closed her eyes. "Yes. He's harmless."

"I don't believe you."

"Jim, don't worry. He's... upstairs right now, taking care of his kid."

"This wacko has a _child_?"

"He's not a wacko, Jim."

"Babe, you're a therapist. You deal with wackos."

"Don't call them wackos." She sighed, walking back over to the photos. She ran her finger down Randy's smiling face. "He's got a lot on his plate."

"Yeah, yeah. Listen, I called you because I'm not gonna be home tonight. Guess I'm flying to Chicago for some business proposition."

Lily frowned. "I'm gonna be all alone?"

"Just until tomorrow night. You'll be okay, right? Maybe you can stay at your mom's."

"No, no, I can..." Lily turned when she heard the front door open slowly. "I gotta go."

"What? Lily—"

"Be careful, okay? And good luck!"

"Lil—"

She shut the phone just as Randy started mounting the stairs. He saw her through the open archway and stopped, hand on the railing. He looked like hell, disheveled and fatigued, and he blew out a breath as he clomped back down, turning into the living room.

He stopped a few feet from her. "You're still here?"

She flicked her phone open and close a few times. "You left me with your _baby_. How was I supposed to leave?"

He blinked at her tiredly. "Is she awake?"

"No." Lily sighed and turned away. "She's not awake."

Randy was quiet for a second. "She's beautiful, isn't she?"

Lily sighed again and covered her face, the cold plastic of her phone pressing against her eyes. "She is. She's so beautiful."

"She keeps me sane." He chuckled. "Well, kind of."

Lily looked back at him. "You did stop choking me when she started crying."

He nodded, eyes pained. "She brings me back to earth."

"That's good. You just need to stay on earth."

"It's hard." He shrugged. "But I'm trying."

They were silent, eyes locked tightly on each other. Lily couldn't believe that the man standing before her had _killed_ two people—yet, he was still the most _attractive _guy she'd ever seen in her entire life.

He sighed. "I guess you can go."

Lily grabbed his arm before he could turn. "Wait."

His head moved slowly, blinking.

"You... You look tired. Go get some rest."

"Where?" He half-grinned. "On top of the _body_ upstairs?"

Lily frowned. "You need to get rid of that."

"Really? I didn't realize." He yawned, pressing his closed fist to his mouth. He had a night's worth of scruff on his usually shaved face. "Maybe I should sleep. Just for a few hours."

"Yeah. I can... um, watch Holly. I guess."

"You'd do that?"

She nodded. "Yeah. You need some rest."

He watched her carefully, eyes roaming her face. "After all the shit I've put you through, Doc, you're still trying to help me?"

Lily wanted to smile, but she just couldn't. "It's my job."

* * *

It was well after three before Lily heard Randy lumbering down the front stairs. She stayed at the kitchen counter and waited until his socked feet hit the floor to turn around.

He scratched his chest through his white v-neck, yawning.

"Sleep well?" she asked quietly.

He nodded. "Like a log. Where's Holly?"

Lily motioned to the high chair by the kitchen table, where Holly was smacking the food she'd made for her. "She won't eat. Is that normal?"

"She's still getting used her feeding schedule, I guess." He went over to her and lifted the baby out, his big hands covering half of her body. "That's what Lauren said, at least."

"Lauren?"

Randy looked up at her quickly and cleared his throat, eyes back on the baby. "My wife."

"Oh."

He nodded, pressing Holly to his chest. "She's just tired."

"She slept until eleven."

"Really?" He lifted her up, smiling brightly into her face. "That's good for her."

Lily stood by the sink awkwardly, watching him admire his child, his eyes sparkling as he held her close. "I'm gonna go."

He looked up. "What?"

"I'm gonna go," she said again. "You're up, you've got Holly. I'm done here."

"No, wait—"

"I'm not helping you with that... _thing_ upstairs." She held up her hands. "I draw the line at murder accomplice."

Randy snorted slightly, the side of his mouth raised. "How can I repay you, Doc?"

"Try not to kill anyone."

"I always am. Trying, I mean." The other lifted. "Thank you."

Lily blew out a breath. "What I do for you, Orton."

"I appreciate it." He walked her to the door, holding it open as she gathered her stuff. He smiled again. "I'll see you next Tuesday."

Lily rubbed her face. "I can't _wait_."

"Actually—" He grabbed her arm. "Hold on."

"What now, Randy?"

"I feel like I should thank you somehow."

"Letting me leave would be thanks enough."

"No, no." His eyes were playful, glinting in the sunlight. "Are you busy tonight?"

"Tonight?" Jim would be out of town. Lily didn't want to be alone, but being with a two-time murderer wasn't much better. "Um... well—"

"Can I take you out?"

Lily shook her head. "I don't think that's a good idea, Randy."

"Why not? Just as friends."

"Aren't you famous? People will speculate."

Randy rolled his eyes. "I've been out to dinner with beautiful women before. I'll just say you're my cousin or something."

"I don't know, Randy..."

"All right, how about this? I'll invite my friend and his wife, too. Does that make it less awkward?"

"Does this said friend know you murdered your wife?"

"No."

"Then no, it doesn't."

Randy smiled knowingly at her. "Come on, Doc. I need to thank you."

She groaned angrily. "Can't you just sign a _check_?"

"Of course. Tonight at dinner, I promise."

Lily narrowed her eyes at him, setting her jaw. "I'm gonna order a lobster stuffed with a bottle of fucking Cristal."

"Watch your mouth in front of Holly." He winked. "So it's a yes?"

She nodded, resigned. "It's a yes."

**A/N: Review. Or Randy Orton will murder you.**


	5. Chapter 5

Lily felt her stomach grumble at her as she tore through her closet, trying to rearrange everything. It was a quarter to eight and she was still in her shorts and hoodie, hair in a ponytail. It didn't really matter—she wasn't going to meet Randy.

She decided halfway through the day that it was just a big mistake. The man murdered _two _people, but she still couldn't deny him and those baby blues of his. It was frightening.

She sighed and snapped a dress from one side of her closet, moving it to the other. If she had called Randy and told him she wasn't going, he would've gotten mad. If she hadn't called Randy—which she was planning on—he would get mad.

There was no winning with him.

Lily pushed her bangs behind her ear and continued color-coding her closet, watching the room turn orange, then dark blue, then purple.

It was half past nine when the doorbell rang.

Lily frowned, putting her stuff down. Jim wouldn't ring the doorbell if he'd somehow gotten home from Chicago in record time. Her heart started beating wildly as she went down the stairs.

Cops? It could've been the cops. Randy was in jail. They found his wife and the nanny. The possibilities were endless.

He turned around when she pulled the door open.

Her heart sped up worse than before. "Randy?"

"I'm late." He stepped in, eyeing her carefully. "But... you don't seem to be ready."

"I..." She blew her hair out of her face. "I don't think having dinner is such a good idea."

His face darkened slightly. "Why _not_?"

"Because... Because we need to keep things platonic."

He smirked. "You think I'm tying to bag you, Doc?"

She blushed. "That's not what I meant."

"I think it is." He stepped closer, smiling fully when she moved back. "Scared?"

"Cautious."

"Smart girl." His hand came up, cupping her neck. "I think you should go get ready."

She shook her head. "I'm not going, Randy. I already—"

And just like that, he snapped her toward him. Her neck cracked as she barreled into his chest, barely breathing as he bent down to put his mouth near her ear.

"You're going to get ready," he hissed, "and you're going to go to dinner. I told my friends we'd meet them at nine and we're already late."

She pushed against him slightly. "And if I refuse?"

"That would not be a smart decision." He pushed her back, smiling when she stumbled. "_Doc_."

* * *

"I can't believe you lied to me."

Randy looked up from his menu, eyes narrowing. "So what? I lie to you all the time."

"Are you _trying_ to be an asshole tonight?"

"Comes naturally," he said nonchalantly, eyes scanning the booklet in front of him. He looked up when she said nothing. "Oh, come on. Lighten up."

"No! You told me we were meeting your friends."

"They cancelled."

"You never _called_ them."

"That, too." He looked up when the waitress put his water down in front of him, smiling when she barely took her eyes off of him.

And Lily—for the first time that night—felt something else besides angry.

Jealous.

She watched Randy order, sensually leaning toward the waitress to ask her what this was, or what it tasted like. She saw her eyes roaming, over his chest, down to his lap.

Lily's fist clenched against the table.

The waitress looked at her. "For you?"

"Hawaiian salad," she growled, shoving her menu out.

Randy's brows raised as she left. "What's your problem?"

"Nothing."

"Not nothing." His eyes lit up slightly, and his mouth lifted. "You're jealous, aren't you?"

"She was practically undressing you with her eyes!"

"Hey, what can I say?" He lifted his hands. "I look good."

He did. Lily couldn't even look at him in that white button down. It was half the reason she'd finally conceded to going to dinner.

That, and he threatened to kill her a couple of times.

"Don't worry, Doc, she's not having dinner with me." He pulled his water closer, meeting her eyes as he bit his straw. "You are."

Lily swallowed hard. "We're not _having _dinner. We're... having dinner."

He nodded. "I got ya, Doc."

"You make it sound perverted."

"I tend to do that." He leaned back. "Let's talk, Doc."

"About what?"

He shrugged. "Your life."

She looked away awkwardly. "What do you want to know?"

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

She met his gaze again. "Yes."

He nodded, bending down to suck his straw. "Serious?"

"He lives with me."

"Oh." Randy averted his gaze. "Was he there when I... uh—"

"Threatened to kill me? No."

"I didn't threaten to kill you."

"You actually did." She swirled the ice around in her glass. "Several times."

"No, I didn't," he said indignantly.

"You did."

He shook his head. "You're insane."

"No, you are." She smiled.

His lips twitched slightly. "You, Doc, are somethin' else."

* * *

Lily still wasn't completely cool with riding on the back of a motorcycle. Not only did Randy drive faster than he should've, but he didn't follow simple _laws._ He blew past stop signs, ran through red lights, cut people off.

The man was _insane_.

Randy coasted into her driveway, skidding his foot against the pavement as he stopped behind her car, gunning the engine before he cut it.

She stumbled away from him, tearing her helmet off. "You're a _fucking_ asshole!"

He grinned at her. "What?"

"Are you _crazy_?"

"I thought we already covered this."

She chucked the helmet, frowning when he caught it. "I told you to go slow. I _told_ you I was afraid to get on that thing."

"You have to go fast enough to _balance_, Doc."

"Bull shit! You were going _eighty_, at least!"

His temples tightened slightly. "Get off my case, Doc."

"No! I didn't want to do this to begin with. You _made_ me get ready, you _made_ me get on the back of that bike, and you _promised_ you wouldn't go fast."

He got off the bike, stepping toward her. "Don't ruin a nice night, Doc."

"Nice _night_? You _forced me_ to go with you!"

"Did I?" He looked above her slightly, shaking his head. "I don't think I ever _forced_ you."

"You _threatened_ to _kill_ me!"

"No." He shook his head again. "Nope, I didn't."

She held her hands out, turning to go to her door. "You're in fucking denial, man—"

Randy reached out and snapped his fingers around her head, but instead of pulling her toward his chest, he bent down and pressed his lips to her mouth.

Lily swallowed her breath, then pushed at him. "Are you fucking crazy?"

"I just wanted to shut you up," he said breathlessly. He moved closer. "But since you taste so good—"

"Get away from me!"

He stopped. "What's the matter, Doc?"

"How dare you!" She slapped him. "I told you I had a boyfriend!"

He scoffed up at the house, gripping the back of her head again. "He's not here, don't worry about it—"

She pushed at his bending face. "You're married, you asshole!"

"Not anymore." His eyes flashed. "If you've _forgotten_."

Lily pushed him harder. "Stop it! I'm not dealing with this. You're my _patient_."

"Like I don't get you hot, Doc." His hand slid down, mouth near her ear. "_Everywhere..._"

She brought her knee up between his legs, running toward her door when he fell. His hand reached out and snagged her wrist before she hit the grass, and she tried to kick him, but he overpowered her, taking her down with him.

"Come on, Doc, kiss me," he hissed, pulling at her shirt.

"Get the _fuck _off me!"

"Oh, fight me some more," he growled, pinning her hands down. "Rub against me, Doc, it turns me on."

"You're a sick _bastard_."

"Oh, yeah, keep talking dirty." He laughed when she struggled against him, groaning. "God, this is so hot, Doc. Keep going—"

She kneed him in the groin again, pushing him onto his back so she could scramble to her feet. When he tried to grab her ankle, she punted him right across the face, running up the front steps when he buckled.

"Don't you fucking run away from me, Doc!" he barked, holding his bleeding temple.

She screamed and slammed the door just as he hit it, trying to lock it quickly as he turned the knob every which way.

He was growling on the other side, slamming his palm against the wood. "Open the _door_, Lily."

Her breath was all she could hear as he continued to batter the door, shake the handle, hit the window beside her.

Then, there was nothing.

Lily gasped for breath, blinking. Had he left?

She turned, just as her helmet went flying through the window beside her. A scream ripped out of her throat as glass rained to the hardwood floor.

She heard the roar of his bike as he rode away.

**A/N: Dude, I'm a masochist, but even a prude would think getting raped by Randy is hot. Review.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: OMFG SUPER UPDATES. But I'd like um... some reviews, please? The last time I updated 159 people read it and I got one review. I write this shit for you guys, so I'd like to know what you think. Dig? This for Randy, whose win Monday night almost made up for Jeff Hardy facing Punk at The Bash instead of Edge. _Almost_.  
**

"What the fuck is _this_, Lily?"

Lily sighed weakly, pressing her fingers to her eyes. "I don't... really know."

"Well, did someone try to break in?" Jim put his briefcase down on the hardwood floor, dropping his coat on top of it as he turned to look at the smashed window. "When did it happen? Were you even here?"

"I..." She shook her head. "No. I wasn't."

"Where the hell were you?"

"My mom's."

Jim sighed angrily, rubbing his forehead before he drove his fingers back through his hair. "All right. I'm calling the police."

"What! Why?"

"Because someone tried to break in, Lil!" He stalked into the kitchen and snapped on the light, heading for the phone next to the coffee machine. "Did you stay at your mom's last night?"

"No, I came back."

"And the window wasn't broken then?"

"No. I don't think so."

"You don't _think_ so?" Jim put the receiver down. "Are you not telling me something?"

"No. I don't remember, Jim." She touched her head. "I have a headache."

"Jesus _Christ_, Lily!" He snatched her wrist and pulled her arm out, pushing her sleeve past her elbow. "You're fucking bruised!"

"I ran into the door today. At work."

"You ran into the door," he repeated.

"Yeah."

"You're so full of shit, Lil."

Lily closed her eyes tightly. "Jim, please. I'm so sore and—"

"Why are you sore?"

"Because I _worked_ all day, Jim!"

Jim narrowed his eyes. "You're lying. You're not telling me something."

"All right, Sherlock Holmes, when you find the wrench in the Conservatory, tell me. Right now, I'm going upstairs to get some rest because I've had a long—"

He grabbed her shoulder. "It's Orton, isn't it?"

She paused, turning her head to look at him. "What?"

"Orton. He did this to you."

Bile rose to her throat, but she forced it back down with a laugh. "You've got to be kidding me, Jim."

"These are _finger_ marks." He laced his hand around her bicep, trying to fit his fingers to the shapes. They were thinner and practically half the size, but they matched for the most part. "He put his hands on you."

"You're obviously looking for something that isn't really there. Maybe you should—"

"Don't fucking psychoanalyze me, Lily! Randy Orton put his goddamn hands on you, and he's going to fucking pay for it."

Lily widened her eyes as he stormed away. "What are you doing?"

He was already on the phone, dialing furiously. "I'm calling the fucking cops."

"Wait, Jim—"

"Don't fucking start, Lily." He just stared at her, shaking his head, receiver pressed to his ear. "I can't believe you'd lower yourself to _protect_ him."

"He didn't _do_ this, Jim!"

"I doubt that, Lily. Hello?" He turned away from her. "Yes, I'd like to report an assault."

"Jim, please don't."

"Yeah, I do. _Randy Orton_."

* * *

Randy sat alone in the locker room, staring at the wall as he slowly wound tape around his wrist. He could see himself in the mirror next to him, and no matter how hard he tried, the throbbing gash near his hairline didn't seem to just disappear.

His fingers clenched.

"Randy, we're cutting a promo in five minutes," Cody Rhodes started as he came in, but he paused, hand on the doorknob. "You okay, man?"

Randy looked up. "What?"

"I said we're cutting our promo in five minutes."

"Oh." Randy went back to staring at the wall.

Cody frowned. "Randy, I think you're taped up."

"Huh?"

"You've got about half a roll on there," he pointed out.

Randy looked down, frowning at the superfluous black medical tape around his wrist. His fingers were going numb from it. "Oh. Thanks."

"You sure you're all right?"

"I'm _fine_."

Cody shut the door behind him, leaning back against it. "How's therapy going?"

Randy met his gaze slowly. "_What_?"

"Therapy. For..." Cody swallowed. "For your... anger problem."

Randy winced as his temple tightened from grinding his teeth. "It's going fine."

"That's good."

Randy looked up at him when he didn't move. "Did you _need_ something?"

"Oh." Cody scrambled, pulling open the door. "No. I just came to tell you—"

"You can go then." Randy stood up, dragging the belt with him. "I'll be there when I'm supposed to be."

Cody nodded. "You got it, man. I'll see you out there."

Randy glared at his reflection as the door shut. His head looked worse than it did yesterday. The gash was getting brighter, almost vibrant, and the white bandage he'd try to conceal it with barely covered anything.

He thumped his fist against the counter.

What a stupid fucking _bitch_. She should've been groaning underneath him, begging him to fuck her. How could she just... _reject him_ like that?

No one rejected Randy Orton.

If they did, they usually ended up dead.

"Randy." Ted knocked as he opened the door. "Time's up. Let's go."

"Give me a minute."

"No. We're shooting now. Everyone's waiting on you."

"Well, they can wait another goddamn _minute_."

Ted stuck his tongue in his cheek, his foot tapping. "You know, man, my dad's The Million Dollar Man and I don't act like the world's at my disposal. Time doesn't _wait _for Randy Orton."

"Don't fucking lecture me, Junior, all right? Tell them I said I'll be there in a _minute_."

"Tell them yourself. I'm not your messenger."

"Ted—" Randy jumped when the door slammed, and he couldn't stop the growl from escaping his throat. He smashed his fist against the mirror and tore out of there, flapping the belt around as he stalked down the hallway.

"There you are, _finally_." John Cena threw his hands up. "Are we gonna do this, or are we gonna do this?"

"Stop talking like a southerner," Randy snapped. "You're from Massachusetts, asshole."

John stepped back. "Someone woke up beside the wrong woman this morning."

Randy's narrowed gaze followed him until he walked out of the shot. The camera started rolling and Josh Mathews came up beside him, timidly holding the mic out.

Randy kept his eyes off set.

"Randy, since Triple H won the Battle Royal tonight, have you gotten the slightest bit nervous that he might—"

"Josh, Josh"—Randy put his hand on the mic, pushing it down—"Josh. Listen. I'm Randy Orton, okay? I don't _get_ nervous. If Triple H thinks he's going to win the belt back at The Bash he is _sorely_, mi_staken_."

"But Triple H has been known to—"

"I know what Triple H has been known to do. All right? I've heard enough about it. Let's go over what _Randy Orton_ has been known to do." Randy looked up and licked his lips. "I won the World Heavyweight Championship when I was only _twenty-four _years old. I was the youngest champion in WWE _history_, okay? I've knocked down the legends—Jake the Snake, Hulk Hogan, _Ric Flair_. Hell, I even punted Triple H's old man _twice, _in the_ skull_." He sniffed slightly, fixing the belt. "I punted his brother-in-law, I sent him to the _hospital_. And most importantly?" Randy half-smiled. "I kissed his darling wife good-night. Right after I _DDT'd her_."

Josh Mathews swallowed weakly.

"So to answer your question, Josh?" Randy averted his gaze, waiting for Cody and Ted to join him, but he stopped completely as two police officers stepped through the back exit, shutting the door quietly.

Josh blinked. "Yes, Randy?"

Randy shook his blurry gaze, glancing down at Josh. "If anyone should be nervous, it's _Triple H_. Not only am I going to keep my title, but I'm going to do something far worse than anything I've done to his family."

Josh waited. "What's that?"

"I'm going to _destroy_ _him_."

Randy stared at Josh for a second or two before he turned, walking out of shot.

Cena came into view. "Now, hold on a second, Orton—"

Randy continued walking toward the locker room.

Cena frowned. "Randy?"

One of the cops stepped up to him. "Mr. Orton?"

Randy's fingers curled as he halted, head down. He ran his tongue across his bottom lip before he lifted his gaze. "Yes?"

"I'm Detective Sanderson and this is Officer Giamatti." He flashed his badge quickly, stuffing it back into his inside pocket. "We need you to come with us."

Randy let the belt drop from his shoulder, holding it loosely at his side. "Is there a problem, officer?"

"We need to ask you a few questions."

"I'm not answering anything without my attorney."

"Fair enough. You can call him on the way to the station."

Randy's eyes sizzled. "Am I being arrested?"

"No," he said airily. "We'd just like to ask you a few—"

"Questions, I got it." Randy let out a breath. "Can I ask _you_ something?"

Detective Sanderson nodded.

"What's this pertaining to?"

Officer Giamatti stepped up. "The assault of Lily Matthews."

"_Assault_?"

"Mr. Orton, we don't want to do this here, in front of your co-workers. Please, just come with us."

"Who says I assaulted her?"

Giamatti took his arm. "We're not at liberty to discuss that here."

"_No_!" Randy wrenched away from him. "_Tell me_. Who said I did this?"

Sanderson sighed. "Her boyfriend believes you may have."

"Her _boyfriend_?"

"Yes. Now, please, Mr. Orton, come with us or we'll be forced to take a more serious course of action."

Randy bared his teeth slightly. "_Fine_. Just let me do one thing before I go."

"What's that?"

"Put some pants on."

**A/N: Oh God, Randy, don't **_**ever**_** put pants on. Review.**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Maybe I'll make Randy kill Jeff Hardy in this story...**

It had to be close to midnight. Lily went down to the station with Jim to get questioned, and she'd refused to say anything about her bruises. There wasn't a damn person in the room who was going to get her to blow in Randy.

"Here, Miss Matthews."

Lily looked up and smiled weakly at Detective Banes, taking the Styrofoam coffee cup from him. "Thank you."

He sighed and stuck his hands in his pockets. "Are you sure you want to stick around?"

She nodded. "I'd like to speak with him, if that's possible."

Banes sat next to her. "Listen, Miss Matthews, I really don't think that's a good idea. We need to question him as soon as he gets here—"

"It'll only be for a few moments."

He shook his head. "I'm sorry, Miss Matthews."

"I'm his therapist," she said quietly, running her finger along the rim of the cup. "He was sent to me with an anger problem."

"He has an anger problem?"

"Yes. He gets infuriated, he reacts on instinct, and then he blacks out. He never remembers anything he did before he became enraged."

Detective Banes ran his hand down his face. "Miss Matthews, I need you to be straight with me."

She looked up.

"Did he harm you, in any way?"

Lily swallowed hard. "He didn't mean it."

"Didn't mean what?"

"He can't control himself." She put her cup on the arm rest and turned to him. "He has a mental problem. Anger isn't just an emotion with him. There's something missing that makes him react when—"

"Did he harm you, Miss Matthews?"

"He can't—"

"Did he _harm you_, Miss Matthews?"

"I..." Lily looked down. "No. He didn't."

Banes sighed. "You know, if Orton confesses to anything you deny, you could be charged for obstruction of justice."

"He didn't do _any_thing."

He blinked slowly, watching her. "You're not romantically involved with him, are you?"

"I don't see how that's relevant."

"I handle domestic violence cases, Miss Matthews. I see women come in here with broken arms, black eyes, bloody lips. The evidence is right on their faces but they still look me straight in the eye and tell me their husbands don't do anything except love them."

"Randy's not my husband."

"I know." He nodded. "So why are you protecting him?"

Lily covered her face. "He's my patient."

"That's no reason to lie to an officer, Miss Matthews."

"I'm not _lying_."

"All right, all right." He held up his hands. "Fair enough."

Lily sniffed, running her palm over her messy curls. "Where was he, do you know?"

"Not far from here. At some show in Waterloo."

"They didn't interrupt his match, did they?"

"I'm not sure." He smiled slightly. "Why do you care?"

"His company sent him to get help. I can only imagine what they'd do to him if the show got interrupted because he got arrested."

"He didn't get arrested, Miss Matthews. He's only being brought in for questioning."

Lily nodded, sighing.

Banes frowned. "You really care about him, don't you?"

"Not so much as care, but... I don't know. I pity him."

"He sounds like he's got a lot on his plate."

"He does."

Banes looked at Lily carefully. "When he comes in, you can speak to him."

Lily looked up. "Really?"

"Yeah." He stood, pushing his sleeves up. "Just keep it quick."

"Thank you."

"And promise me one thing."

She stared at him expectantly.

"He tries anything, scream. Okay?"

She nodded. "I promise."

* * *

"I don't know why you had to cuff me," Randy growled.

"You tried to attack one of your co-workers."

"Cena deserves what he got."

"And hopefully, you'll get yours, too." Officer Giamatti pushed Randy through the door. "_Sit down_. Detective Banes will be with you shortly."

Randy's hands were practically bleeding from his nails digging into his skin, but he sat down anyway, and faced the door as it shut. The light above his head was blinding in the otherwise dark room.

Randy rolled his eyes and tapped his feet as he waited for the officer. He could hear people talking outside, and then the door opened just slightly. He scoffed and stared at the table.

"I'm not saying a word until my attorney gets here," he grumbled.

"He's outside."

Randy looked up quickly, frowning when Lily shut the door with her back. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"_Okay_?" Randy struggled against the cuffs. "Does it _look_ like I'm okay?"

She shook her head. "They gave me the keys. I asked if I could remove the cuffs and Detective Banes said yes."

"How _thoughtful_ of him." Randy shifted slightly, holding his tied hands up awkwardly. "Get this shit off me, my wrists are getting cut."

Lily somberly unlocked the cuffs, then sat down across from him, waiting as he massaged his wrists.

He looked up at her. "Did you say anything?"

"About what?"

He blinked at her.

"No." She shook her head. "I didn't."

"Good." He cleared his throat. "So. This is what I get, huh?"

She frowned. "For what?"

"For trying to sleep with you."

Lily bit her lip. "Is that all you remember?"

"Is there more?"

"Tell me what you did."

Randy rolled his eyes and sat back, crossing his arms. "I took you home, I drove too fast, you got me all hot and bothered so I decided to do something about it."

Lily averted her gaze to his head. "How did you get that?"

"You kicked me, didn't you?"

"And then?"

He shrugged. "I went home. Woke up in the bathtub with a massive headache."

Lily covered her mouth. "You don't recall anything else?"

"If I _did_, I would _tell you_, Doc."

"I need to go."

Randy winced slightly when she stood up abruptly. "Wait, where are you going?"

"I have to leave. I can't be around you."

"Wait, Doc—"

"I can't believe this. I can't believe you can't remember." Lily scrubbed at her eyes. "What if you had killed me? What if you had just snapped my neck right there? You would've gone on your merry way without a care in the world!"

"What are you _talking_ about?" When she went for the door, Randy lunged at her, slamming her shoulders against the wall. "Don't fucking run _away_ from me—"

He stopped when she tensed, biting her lip.

He saw the bruise slipping past her collar, molded for his fingers, sliding down her arm, around her wrist. His eyes lowered at the scratches near her jaw.

"Did I do this to you?" he whispered.

She hesitated.

He looked up, eyes shaky. "_Did _I?"

She could only nod.

His gaze traveled down again and his hands followed. A perfect match around her wrist. His hand slid up to her neck.

"Please let go of me," she whispered.

He glanced at her. "I did this to you, and you didn't tell anyone?"

She shook her head.

He bit his lip and looked away.

"I didn't want you to lose your job."

His head turned back to her. "Are you _serious_?"

"You would've gotten into trouble you don't deserve."

"I can't believe this! You kept this a secret because you didn't want me to _lose my job_?"

"You can't help it, Randy. I know you can't. But... I'm scared that I can't help you either."

Randy scoffed slightly. "No one can, Doc. I tried telling you that the first day we met."

His grip loosened after a moment and Lily let out a breath.

"I thought I could handle you." She shrugged. "Guess I was wrong."

Randy nodded, touching her wrist again gingerly. "I can't even handle myself."

"I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing." He sighed, running his fingers over his lips. His eyes glanced at her quickly before he pulled open the door.

"What are you doing?"

"Making it right," he whispered. He lifted his gaze to the hallway. "Detective Banes?"

Lily moved toward him. "Randy—"

"I assaulted Lily Matthews."

**A/N: Aw, Rand. Review.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I have big plans for this story. Oh my God. I'm excited.**

Randy lay back on his bunk, staring up at the water stained ceiling. He knew jail was supposed to suck—and he really was a bit grateful that he didn't have a cell mate, at least, not yet—but he didn't know it was going to suck this bad. He did have to admit, though, it was nice to just enjoy the silence.

He hadn't been tempted to murder anyone.

"Orton," one of the guards barked gruffly.

Randy leaned his head back, blinking at the towering man.

"You have a visitor."

He nodded and flopped off the bed, cracking his neck as he waited for the guard to open his cell. He hated this part the most. The guard would have to escort him to the meeting area, but he'd have to do it by grabbing his arm. Randy wasn't too fond of being handled around, especially by a dickhead like that guy. His blood always boiled as he was lead to the outside.

She was wearing a short, white dress. If that wasn't the epitome of innocence, Randy didn't know what was.

He gave the guard a look as he sat down at one of the picnic benches, waiting for Lily to get the go ahead before she came over.

She smiled weakly. "You look like hell."

"Jail can do that to a person."

She nodded and hesitated, clutching her purse.

"You can sit down, I guess." He sighed. "I don't really know why you're here."

"I wanted to see how you were."

"Peachy."

She laughed slightly. "It's not that bad, is it?"

"I can't even imagine what _prison's_ going to be like."

Lily frowned and put her bag on the table. "That's kind of why I'm here."

"What now? Did I kill your first born?"

"I'm dropping the charges."

Randy blinked. "I wasn't really expecting that."

"I just figured... you don't deserve this. No one does, really, but you especially."

Randy smirked slightly, and leaned back. "Why, Doc? What makes me so special?"

"You have a mental problem."

"Thanks."

"I'm serious. There's something missing up there." She tapped the side of his head.

He jerked away from her. "Watch it. That's where you _kicked_ me."

Her hand recoiled. "Sorry."

"Shut up, stop apologizing. You didn't do anything wrong."

"I just wish Jim hadn't seen the window. If I'd gotten it repaired before—"

"Are you listening to yourself? This isn't your goddamn fault. I broke the window, I put those bruises on your arms, and I deserve what I got."

"_No_, Randy. You have a problem. Your anger isn't just emotional, it's psychological. There's something that doesn't click in your brain, and anything that triggers your anger, it's unleashed with nothing holding it back."

"Quit the therapist bullshit!" he yelled.

The guard stood up, staring at them.

Lily sighed. "Please stop yelling."

"Don't get me mad, Doc. You've seen what I can do."

"But you don't."

Randy frowned. "Huh?"

"You don't see it. You do it on instinct, without processing the consequences. Not to mention the fact that you don't remember half the stuff you do..."

"I already know this, Doc." When she said nothing, his jaw set. "If that's all you came here to tell me, then you can go."

"I haven't finished yet." She ran her hand back through her hair. "I'm dropping the charges because your boss asked me to."

Randy's fingers curled against the hard plastic of the table. "_What_?"

"Vince called me when he found out what happened. The good news from him is that you're not fired."

"I can't exactly be the WWE Champ in a jail cell."

"That's my point—you're not going to be."

"I can't believe this. Vince _actually_ asked you to_ drop the assault charges_?"

"Yes. He knows just as well as I do that what you're dealing with is more than a short fuse."

"This is bullshit. I won't agree to this. I hurt you, I should get what's coming to me. You're just an innocent bystander in all this commotion—"

"And your wife wasn't?" She raised a brow. "Or the nanny?"

Randy ground his teeth. "Don't fucking _mention that_ here."

"I'm just making a point. What makes me so special?"

"What makes _me_ so special?" he hissed quickly.

"There's more to your anger. I know it, Vince knows it, and you know it."

Randy blinked away, staring out past the fence. He turned back to her, blue eyes illuminated by the white sky. "What's the stipulations?"

"I drop the charges. Then you—"

"Just so you know, I haven't decided if I'm going to agree to this yet."

Lily nodded. "Fair enough."

He waved his hand impatiently. "Keep going."

"Oh. Well, I'd drop the charges and then you'd get out of here a free man. Unfortunately, I won't be your therapist anymore."

Randy's eyes sparkled, but he pouted his mouth. "Damn. Bet you're crying yourself to sleep about that."

"Not exactly. Instead of going back to work, you're going to be institutionalized."

Randy blinked. "Like... a wacko?"

"You're going for psychiatric help. Rehab, if you will. I guess Vince is going to work out all the details with you, something about selling an injury to cover up for your absence."

"Uh huh."

"And then… you'll go there. And afterward, hopefully, lead a healthy life."

Randy nodded, rapping his knuckles against the table. "And if I don't agree to this?"

"I'll still drop the charges, but Vince'll fire you."

His fist curled tightly, but his face stayed straight. "Guess I don't have much of a choice, then, do I?"

Lily shrugged. "I just don't want you in here."

Randy grimaced, leaning against his fist. "Why do you care about me, Doc?"

Her gaze never faltered, but even through her calm demeanor did he see her swallow thickly. "I don't. I pity you."

He nodded, eyes down at the table. "Makes sense."

Lily rubbed her hands together softly.

Randy looked up. "You cold?" he asked, and leaned over to touch her fingers.

She moved away. "I think I'm done here."

Randy frowned. "Yeah."

They stood awkwardly, meeting at the end of the table. She was so small compared to him, so vulnerable. He just blinked down at her as she looked up, the sky catching the green around the edges of her eyes.

"Well..." he started, clearing his throat. "Thanks, Doc. For everything."

She nodded. "I was only doing my job."

"You did more than that—you went above and beyond, actually."

"Yeah. I guess you're right." She turned to go.

He grabbed her shoulders and slid his arms around her neck, bending down to hug her quickly. She stiffened at his touch, but he didn't let her go. He didn't care that she kept her arms at her sides, her cheek pressed against his chest.

"I just want you to know that even though it didn't work out, you did help me a lot, Doc."

She nodded. "Okay."

He stepped back, frowning at her opaque eyes. He tried to smile. "Well, I'll see you around."

But she just shook her head. "No, you won't."

**A/N: THE END! …Just kidding. Review Review Review.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I fucking haaaaaate awkward situations. Save me.**

If Randy had known this would've been worse than prison, he would've taken the assault charges. He'd have rather shared a cell with a guy named Terry than sit in a completely white room with nothing in it except for a bed and a window.

A window covered with bars, of course.

He paced the length of the room day and night, night and day, hoping something, some_one_, would walk through that door and tell him he wasn't crazy anymore.

The door stayed closed.

He dropped to his mattress, his white mattress with the white bedspread, and just about blended into it. If he'd known going insane was the cure for insanity, he would've just dealt with it in his own goddamn house.

But now he was stuck here, here on this white bed, covered in white clothes, surrounded by white walls, because it was supposed to be _calming_.

He wanted to murder someone.

Maybe even Lily, for fucking doing this to him.

_Lily_. A _white_ flower.

His fist clenched.

"Randy?"

But he turned quickly, abruptly, toward the doorway. "Lily?"

* * *

"I still can't fucking believe you."

Lily leaned her forehead against the passenger side window and said nothing.

"I mean, the guy could've killed you. He could've _killed_ you, and you let him walk free."

"He's not walking free, he's getting help."

"That motherfucker should be in _jail_!" Jim's grip on the steering wheel tightened. "I can't even look at you. You're such a fucking coward."

Lily sighed.

"You know what I hope happens?" Jim started after a moment of silence. "I hope he gets out of there and I hope he fucking _kills_ you. I really do. You know why? Because you're the fucking idiot who let a psychopath go free."

Lily's hand itched to grab the wheel and bowl the car over the side of the highway.

"I thought you were smart. When we first started dating, you were a fucking genius. I used to tell everyone that. Now what do I say? You're just a fucking retard. You can't say no to a pair of baby blues, can you?"

She just crossed her arms and watched the twilight zip by.

Jim glanced over at her. "What? Now you can't talk? Is it because I'm not _Randy_? Would you talk if I threatened to kill you? What if I pulled the car into oncoming traffic, would you speak then?"

Lily slid her gaze to his. "No. I _wouldn't_."

"Oh, so you're mad at _me_ now? Why? Because I actually care about what happens to you?"

"You hope Randy will break out and murder me."

"Just so you'd learn!"

"I wouldn't learn anything if I'm _dead_."

Jim bared his teeth, eyes back on the road. "What... Do you _like_ him?"

"I care about him. He's got a lot of problems."

"You're such a fucking pushover! No wonder he almost tried to kill you—you've got no backbone, Lily. Do you _honestly_ think Randy even _remembers_ you? He doesn't give a damn about anyone but himself."

"That's not true."

"Stop defending him! It's all you do!"

"I'm all he has left!"

"_You_? _You're_ all that he has left?" He scoffed. "Listen, Lily. Baby. I'm telling you right now, Randy Orton isn't thinking about _anyone_ but himself. And you know what? I wouldn't put it past him to be plotting your demise as we _speak_."

"He'd have to think about me in order to do that, now wouldn't he?"

* * *

"No, Randy, it's Doctor Mead." He closed the door behind him, leaving that blue hallway to exist in Randy's imagination. "Who's Lily?"

Randy swallowed hard and looked at the wall across from him. "She's no one."

"Is she a real person?"

"Of course she's a real person!" Randy glared at the doctor. "I'm not crazy."

"I know that, Randy." He pulled a chair up and sat down. "How's your day been so far?"

"Boring."

Doctor Mead laughed slightly. "Any thoughts?"

"Many."

"About what?"

"Why everything in this place is fucking white."

"It's relaxing."

"Right." Randy fell back onto the bed to stare at the ceiling. "How long am I here for?"

"As long as you need, Randy."

"Good, then I'm done."

Doctor Mead held his shoulder down when he tried to get up. "Why don't you stick around for a few more days? There are a couple of tests we'd like you to take."

"I'm not good at tests."

"These aren't regular tests, Randy."

He glared at him. "I don't want to be here."

"It's either here or prison."

"I'd rather go to prison."

"But you'd lose your job," Doctor Mead said, and for a split second, Randy heard Lily's voice.

He blinked at him. "Say something else."

The doctor frowned. "Are you all right, Randy?"

He sighed, leaning back. "Yeah. I'm fine."

"That's good. We just want you to be comfortable, Randy. This is going to be a long and steady process, but believe me, in the end you'll be thanking your therapist for sending you here."

"Do you think..." Randy shook his head. "Forget it."

"No, no, Randy, speak up."

"Do you think... I could possibly... see her?"

Doctor Mead's eyes dropped. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Even if it's on the phone?"

He grimaced slightly. "You want to speak to her?"

"Yes. She... really helped me. I want to thank her."

"I'm sorry, Randy." The doctor shook his head. "But you can't."

* * *

"I mean, what's next, Lily? Are you going to be defending murderers? Child molesters, terrorists?"

Lily pulled the covers back and got in bed.

"It's like _we're_ the bad guys for following the law. Randy should be in _prison_, not a mental institution. It's all a fucking act and _you know it_."

She tried really hard to keep the lump in her throat down.

"You told me it was over after this. You told me you were going to forget about him if you dropped the charges and sent him to that fucking institution. But here you are, lying in bed with your back to me, ignoring everything I say because you _can't let him go_."

She moved away slightly when he got in beside her, jerking the covers around until he settled on his back, flopping his hands against his sides.

It was silent for a minute or two, and then he rolled over.

Then the other way.

Then on his back.

He sighed angrily. "Why won't you fucking _talk to me_?"

Lily moved into the covers a little more. "I have nothing to say."

"You certainly have enough to say when you were defending that fucking piece of shit."

She turned to him. "You know, for all the shit you say about me, I don't talk about him as much as you do."

"It's because he's fucking ruining our lives! Ever since he came to you, you've been different. You don't talk to me, you don't—"

"I haven't talked to you _today _because you've been a fucking asshole!"

"Because _you've_ been a depressed _baby_ since you left him in jail."

"I haven't been _depressed_!"

"Don't fucking deny it, Lily, you've been acting like a fucking pussy. You've isolated yourself, you won't talk to your family, you won't talk to me, you didn't go to work today—"

"I didn't _feel_ well."

"Sure, Lily, sure. Whatever you say." He turned away from her. "Good night."

"Fuck you," she growled, and put her back to his.

* * *

Randy stared up at the moon. It had to be two-thirty, at the earliest, but he just couldn't fall asleep. There was something he loved about the night. He didn't want to miss a single second of it.

After all, the room was blue.

Randy touched the thick glass, spreading his fingers out so he could still see the trees, black against the sky.

He was going to see Lily. Whatever it took, he was going to _do it_.

But tonight, he was going to sit here and watch the world turn, the sun rise, and the room turn back to white.

**A/N: I was tempted so hard to write WOO WOO WOO after I wrote you know it. Review.**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hm. Over 400 hits, only 5 reviews. That seems a bit unbalanced.**

"And what do you see now, Randy?"

Randy was too busy doodling designs on his white pants. They were similar to his tribal tattoos; harsh, jagged lines connected and bound around a swirling center.

"Randy, please pay attention."

Randy lifted his eyes and found Doctor Mead smiling comfortingly at him, his sad gaze surprisingly bright. Randy pursed his lips. "What are you thinkin', Doc?"

He cringed slightly. It just wasn't the same.

Doctor Mead didn't notice. "We're not here to discuss what I'm thinking, Randy. We're here to help you figure out what you're thinking."

Randy shrugged, continuing to draw. "You just look sad, is all."

"I'm not, Randy, believe me." He smiled and picked up another card. "Can you tell me what you see, Randy?"

"Can I smoke in here?"

"No, Randy. Now what do you see?"

No matter what, the guy didn't crack. Randy had to hand it to him.

He pulled at his pant leg slightly and looked at his art. It had turned creepy, long sweeping motions that scribbled over his previous work.

"Randy, are you bored?"

Randy looked up again and shook his head. "Nah, Doc. You're entertaining me just fine."

Doctor Mead laughed, putting his stuff down. "Listen, I can tell you're not interested in what we're doing here. How about we take a walk down to the Activities Center? Doctor Hutch is having a wonderful seminar about the power of thought."

Randy frowned slightly. "No, thanks."

"It'd be good to get you out of this room. You seem antsy."

"I'm a prisoner in here. Wouldn't you be antsy?"

"Oh, Randy, you're not a prisoner." Doctor Mead patted his shoulder. "I don't want you to feel that way, _ever_. This is a safe place, a place for you to open up. This is the place where you can actually be _free_."

Randy scoffed, looking up at him. "You sell a lot of bullshit, Doc."

"I'm only speaking the truth."

Randy shrugged and glanced away.

Doctor Mead sighed. Picked up his stuff. "I'll leave you to your thoughts, Randy. I just hope you'll reconsider going down there with me one day. It really is a nice environment."

"I'm fine right here."

Doctor Mead frowned at Randy's pants. "We're going to have to get you some new clothes."

Randy grimaced. "I just wanted to put some color into this room."

"Your soul and mind is colorful enough." He smiled, plucking his walkie talkie from his waistband. He turned away. "Patient 04011980 needs a new uniform," he ordered quietly.

Randy smiled at his hands.

_This is the place where he can actually be free_?

He didn't even have a name.

* * *

"I... I've been having these dreams where I'm running, but I don't know where I'm running. And because I don't know where I'm running, I start to panic because I can't find my way out. And because I can't find my way out, that must mean I'm lost, and if I'm lost, I panic even more because I don't handle being alone very well."

Lily let out a loud sigh and scribbled in the corner of her legal pad. "And how does that make you feel?" she asked monotonously, not even bothering to look at her patient.

The patient wrung his hands weakly. "Well... I wake up with a whole slew of emotions coursing inside of me. And I sometimes wet the bed."

Lily covered her face. "Well, I think you're afraid."

"How so?"

"You're afraid to be out on your own. To be independent." She looked up finally, and noticed the guy's eyes were the same color as Randy's. "You're afraid to take a chance."

He pulled at his collar. "R-Really?"

"Yes. And because you don't realize that, your subconscious is running rampant, trying to find a way to tell you that you can't handle what you're doing."

"Well, I did just move out of my parents' house."

"See? Changes are usually what open up this wild ride of emotions. You just need to harbor it, and turn it into positive energy."

"Should I just move back in with them?"

"What?" Lily shook her head. "No, no, just accept your change. Your nightmares will go away."

"And if they don't?"

"That's a chance you'll have to take."

The guy smiled weakly, uncertainly. "Okay. I mean... th-thank you, Doctor."

_Doc_.

Lily ran a hand down her face. "No problem. Give me a call if anything else happens."

She stood up to shake his hand, but he stepped back.

"I'm sorry," he said awkwardly. "I don't touch other people. Too many germs."

"Ah." Lily curled her fingers back. "You got it. Take care."

He paused. "Uh, would you mind, uh, opening—"

"Oh." Lily went around her desk and opened the door. "There you go."

"Thank you, Doctor."

She slammed it after him and then just leaned against it. But the second she closed her eyes, someone knocked. Lily sighed and opened it back up again.

Steven smiled at her. "Hey. Wanna grab some lunch?"

Lily shook her head. "I don't think so."

"Why? You haven't taken a lunch break for the past week."

"I'm not hungry," she grumbled. "And I have a lot of work."

"You sure you're okay?" He leaned on the doorway, hands in his pockets.

Lily's mind flashed to Randy in that same position, the second day they'd met.

She shook her head clear. "Yeah."

Steven frowned. "You look a little sick."

"I... I think I have something. A cold maybe."

"Well..." Steven straightened. "If you need to take the rest of the day off, just tell me and I'll figure something out."

"Thanks, Steven." Lily rubbed at her forehead. "I'm gonna... get back to work now."

"Okay," he said uncertainly. He smiled. "Enjoy yourself, Doc."

Lily just blinked at him, then shut the door.

* * *

Randy looked up at the kid across the table from him. "Hey. _Boy_. You there."

The kid was meek and pale, with slick black hair that fell into his eyes. He was curled in on himself, glancing sideways every few seconds. He didn't look up when Randy called him.

Randy slammed his hand against the table. "_Boy_, look at me when I'm talking to you."

The kid looked up through the greasy strands of his hair.

Randy nodded. "Got a pencil?"

He shook his head and averted his gaze.

Randy sighed and sat back. He decided to give that Activities Center a chance, but there was no way in hell he was going to talk to another shrink. Now he was just stuck at a table with this creepy little weirdo while other patients milled around aimlessly.

Randy stared at his company. "What are you here for?"

The kid was shivering. _Shivering_. "I tried to kill myself," he breathed.

"What a coincidence—I tried to kill someone."

The kid folded his arms a little tighter.

"Why would you want to kill yourself?"

The kid's mouth opened slightly. "Why would I want to live?"

"Because you're what? Seventeen? You got your whole life ahead of you."

"I'm thirty-four," he said quietly.

"Whoa." Randy bared his teeth. "Uh... sorry."

The kid lifted his hand, fingers shaking violently, and touched his lips. His gaze fell on Randy and stayed there.

Randy shifted awkwardly. "So, uh—"

"I'm going to tonight."

"Going to what?"

"_Kill myself_," he whispered.

Randy blanched. "Uh, well... good?"

"I mean... haven't you ever just wanted to be _free_?"

Randy was about to say something, but he paused. He glanced over at the doctors watching them, at the others watching the door. Other nutjobs were just wandering around, drawing pretty pictures or poking themselves with pencils.

No one was listening.

_Haven't you ever just wanted to be free_?

Randy leaned forward. "What time are you planning on doing this, exactly?"

* * *

"Are you going to talk to me tonight?"

Lily kept slamming around the kitchen, opening the pantry door to search for a spice, opening cupboards to get plates. She went back to the stove wordlessly.

"Well, _good_, 'cause I wasn't going to talk to you either."

She went over to the spice rack and picked up a container of cayenne pepper, dumping half of it into the sauce she was making.

"What are you _doing_!" Jim came over to her and grabbed it. "I'm allergic to cayenne pepper!"

"Good," she said briskly, turning around to cut up shrimp on the center island.

"_Good_? What are you trying to do, kill me?"

She didn't answer, just snapped the knife against the cutting board.

Jim stared at her narrowly. "Who you trying to impress? _Randy_?"

The knife slipped.

Jim smirked and walked around so he was facing her. "You trying to kill me so you'll look tough enough to hang with Randy and his murdering comrades?"

"Stop talking," she said emotionlessly.

"Stop moping around."

She slammed the knife down. "I'm not _moping around_!"

"Bullshit! Steven called me today. At work. During a _meeting_ with a client from Japan. He was worried about you because you haven't talked to anyone in over a week."

"I don't have anything to say," she said defensively.

"The point _is_, everyone's noticed you've had a stick up your ass and they're _worried about you_. Why don't you just fucking admit that you were having an affair with that jackass so we don't have to keep up with this charade?"

Lily had to laugh. "An _affair_?" She looked at him. "You've _got _to be kidding me."

"Why not? He's a famous wrestler."

"Oh, yeah, let me _jump_ right into bed with him."

"You _did_, didn't you?"

Lily rolled her eyes and continued to stir. "Don't be ridiculous."

"_You're_ being the ridiculous one!" Jim went closer to her. "Don't turn your back to me, listen—"

She had the knife at his stomach when he tried to grab her.

"Don't _touch_ me," she hissed.

Jim looked down, then back at her face. He let go, hands up, and walked backwards.

She glared at him before she put the knife down with a crack.

"You're out of your fucking mind," he snarled, after a moment of silence. She heard him snap his jacket off the back of the chair. "I'm going out for a beer. I'll eat something there."

"Fine with me," she said quietly.

"If you want to call me when you actually become the Lily I used to know, feel free." There were angry footsteps, and then the door slammed.

_Feel free._

Funny. She felt anything but.

* * *

_I need to get out of here_.

**A/N: Yeah, yeah. Review. Or I'll spear you.**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: So I had another chapter written for this one, but I didn't like it. So I'm trying again, because this has to be the best story ever. We can't have shitty chapters.**

Lily had a feeling she was drunk. Not smashed, but... happy. And buzzed. Everything on television made her laugh, made her spill the glass of white wine in her hand. She got some on Jim's precious leather couch, but that was the least of her problems. He could clean it up himself if he cared so much.

She changed the channel to a movie, something funny, with a comedian that wasn't. But the Sangria was hitting her hard, so his normally jumbled lines and melodramatic facial expressions practically had her on her knees.

It was half past four when Jim finally opened the front door.

The movie was long over, now it was _Roman Holiday_, one of Lily's favorites. If only she could enjoy it. If only her attention span was more than a few minutes.

Jim tossed his jacket in the chair behind the couch. "Why are you still awake?"

"Why are you still awake?" she slurred.

"I'm just coming _home_," he sneered. His hands were on either side of her head, fingers digging into the couch. "Are you _drunk_?"

"Are you?"

"I had one beer, Lily." He sniffed the empty glass next to her, made a face. "At least get drunk off of something heftier than cranberry juice."

"It was _Sangria_."

"It smells like the punch at high school dances."

"What would you know? You dropped out of high school."

Jim pursed his lips, let the cup drop against her leg. "I'm going to bed. Stay on the couch, I don't want to wake up to you puking on me."

"I'll be sure to come upstairs before I feel like I'm going to throw up."

Jim scoffed and took the stairs two at a time.

Lily glared at him over the back of the couch, thumping her feet up onto the coffee table in front of her. Fucking jackass. He had no right telling her that she was a drunk, that she couldn't throw up on him. She was going to puke wherever the fuck she wanted!

She was going to need a lot more to throw up, though.

So she stumbled up and snagged her glass, running into the wall on her way to the dark kitchen. The world was already slowly becoming normal again. It would be so like Jim to actually make her sober up just by the mere presence of him.

Lily opened the refrigerator, the only light in the room, found the pitcher of bright pink liquid. She'd made way too much, but that only encouraged her to drink more, to make sure vomiting on Jim would be all the more outrageous.

Feet snapped into the room, halted.

"Fuck off, Jim, I'm going to drink as much as I want."

"At least drink something with a little more bite."

Lily gasped and nearly dropped the pitcher. She caught it on the edge of the counter and turned, saw him in the shadows.

He stepped up. "Surprise."

"What..." She steadied her heart, touched her hand to her throat. "What are you _doing here_?"

"I need your help, Doc."

"No, no, no, no." She turned away. "You're not really here. You can't be."

"I am, Doc. In the flesh."

She covered her face. "_How_ are you here? Did you _break_ _out_ of the asylum?"

"You make me sound crazy." He paused. "Yeah. I did."

"Oh, _Randy_..."

"And I might've... uh... indisposed someone. In the process."

"_Randy_—!" She spun around.

"He was going to kill himself, anyway. I just made sure he actually did it." He shrugged, stuffing his hands into his jean pockets. "And... well, there might've been a doctor who saw me, but—"

She held up her hand. "I've heard enough."

He rubbed the back of his neck, a sheepish grin spreading.

Lily pressed her fingers to the insides of her eyes.

"Are you mad?" he asked playfully.

"Am I _mad_?" Her arms dropped. "Randy. You need to go."

His brows shot up. Then fell hard. "What?"

"You can't be here. You..." She moved to him, grabbed his arm. "You need to go. You need to get out of here."

"That's why I came here, Doc. I need your help."

"Randy, _stop_!" She pushed him. "I can't _help_ you anymore! I'm not your therapist."

"Then be a friend and help me."

"I'm not your friend, either," she whispered.

He looked at her then, eyes heavy. "You're not my _friend_?"

She gave him another shove. "You need to go. Before Jim wakes up."

"You need to come with me."

Lily let out a harsh breath. "What's gonna happen when Jim wakes up, huh? What's he gonna say when he sees your escape _all_ over the news? What happens when he sees that I'm missing? He's going to come after you!"

Randy crossed his arms. "How many people has Jim killed?"

"None, but I'm sure he'll try with you."

"I've killed four. And chances are it'll be five if he comes anywhere _near me_."

Lily felt a chill run down her spine.

"Doc, please," he said quietly.

Lily lifted her gaze, found Randy a few inches closer, head bent. His eyes were so open, so innocent. The eyes of an angel.

His hand lifted.

"Don't touch me," she whispered.

But his fingers moved, touched her jaw, cupped underneath the bone. She tried to keep her eyes open, from slipping underneath the tide, but his thumb ran across her skin and she felt her lids dropping. She felt herself drowning.

His nails dug into her skin.

Her eyes shot open, shaking, looking into his eyes, the icy eyes, the fiery eyes. The eyes of a killer.

"Get your stuff," he gritted. "And then we'll leave."

She cringed when his thumb pressed against her larynx, her gaze blinded for a second. She gripped at his wrist, trying to move steel.

He laughed. "Don't even try, Doc. You can't _stop me_."

The light flipped on.

Randy lifted his head, Lily turning to look at the doorway.

Jim, shirtless and sleepy, stared back at them.

No one said a word, the two of them locked together, Jim speechless.

But Randy smirked.

And something snapped in Jim's eyes.

"What the _fuck_ is going on?" he hollered. He looked between them, finger raising to point. "I _knew _it! I _knew_ you had something going on with him!"

Randy rolled his eyes, and moved back, dropping his arms nonchalantly.

"What are you even _doing_ here?" Jim came closer. "Aren't you supposed to be in the loony bin? Where's your straight-jacket, Superstar? Huh?"

Lily saw Randy's arms flex, his fingers curling into his palms.

Jim pushed Randy in the chest, caught him off guard, sent him into the counter. "What are you, crazy _and_ mute? Say something, dickhead!"

"Jim, please, he doesn't—"

Jim lashed back, meant to push her, smacked her face instead. He stumbled slightly, his eyes upset, but they quickly turned back to Randy. "You—"

But Randy had Jim's hair in seconds, his head smashed against the cupboard behind him. Jim crumbled to the floor, forehead bleeding against the wall.

Randy's chest was heaving. "Nice to _meet_ you," he hissed.

Lily was holding her cheek, eyes watery from the intensity of the room.

Randy lifted his gaze slowly, sliced away. "Let's go."

She didn't move.

He stopped in the doorway, didn't turn around. "You coming?"

Lily glanced back at Jim, her feet moving before she even realized it. She was following Randy toward the front door, toward her freedom.

But she stopped right before the exit.

"What if he wakes up?" she asked weakly.

Randy shrugged. "He'll have a killer headache."

She tried to smile.

He jerked a shoulder toward the car sitting in the driveway. "Ready?"

Lily stole a glance at the dark kitchen. She couldn't see Jim, but he knew he was in there. She knew he was bleeding against the wall, that he needed medical attention. She knew that she should go back.

But she followed Randy out the door.

She really had no other choice.

**A/N: Now, last chapter had phenomenal reviews. Not 200, like the hits, but a solid amount. Let's do that again! It made me happy. Review.**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Wow, I'm on a fuckin' spree with this shit!**

The car rode smoothly over the winding roads, passing the early morning nature by in a blur. Lily stared out the open side window, pulling her hair behind her ears as it flew all around, and tried to figure out how she was in the car with this lunatic.

The sun was coming up, breaking through the trees whenever they were sparse, and the light hit Randy in such a way that it made his squinted eyes completely translucent.

So maybe there were a couple of reasons she was with him.

He slowed the car to a stop and smoothly pulled into a driveway. Lily looked up at his looming house reflecting the morning sun and turned to Randy when he shut the car off and got out.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"Shut up."

He headed up the front walk, pocketing his keys quickly as he hopped up the steps and walked in through the unlocked door.

Lily hurried to get unbuckled and hustled after him when he didn't come out for a minute. He left it open a crack and she met darkness once she'd pushed it open and closed it behind her.

"Randy?"

He was at the top of the stairs. "Quiet, my parents are asleep."

"Your parents?"

"Yeah." He was closing the door beside him. "They've been here since I left, to take care of Holly."

She went up the stairs slowly, pausing when he met her. "They don't know you're here?"

"No, but they will." He took her arm and tugged her down the dark hallway, pushing through to the baby nursery at the end. He pointed at a white armoire in the corner. "Get her baby bag out of there, I think that's where Lauren kept it."

"Baby bag?"

Randy nodded, bending underneath the crib to snatch something.

Lily stayed put.

He looked at her, on his hands and knees, a stuffed bunny trapped under his fingers. He let out an irritated sigh. "What's wrong _now_?"

"We can't take Holly, Randy."

He gripped the toy. "She's my daughter. I can't leave her."

"Are we not coming back?"

"I don't know," he gritted, sliding halfway underneath her cradle. "Goddamn it, where's that fucking thing she likes so much?"

"What are you looking for?"

"You never mind." He threw his hand in a vague direction, not looking at her. "You grab her clothes and stuff."

"Randy, she _can't_ come with us."

"Why _not_?" he snarled, sitting back on his haunches.

"She could get _hurt_."

"Bullshit." He was under there again, searching, throwing things behind him to dig farther back. "It's gotta be here somewhere."

Lily quietly made her way over to the baby, peering inside. She was sleeping soundly, a plush tiger's ear gripped in her chubby hand.

Lily bent down. "Is that it?"

Randy reared back and slammed his head against the edge of the crib. "Fuck!" He fell back, glaring at her, his hand scrubbing at the top of his neck. "What'd you say?"

Holly let loose a loud cry.

"That you woke your baby up," Lily hissed.

"No big deal," he grunted, checking his fingers for blood before they pressed against his hair again. He stood up and bent over the rungs of the crib.

"You need to make her stop. Your parents are going to wake up."

"So what?" he growled, cradling the baby against his shoulder. He turned away from her and walked over to the big bay window overlooking the backyard. Holly kept on wailing, her tiny legs thumping against Randy's chest.

"Try singing to her."

He glanced at her over his shoulder with a snort. "_You_ sing to her."

"If it'll make her stop, I will."

"Fine." Randy spun around and dropped Holly in her arms. "You take care of her. Her father wouldn't know how to do it, that's for sure."

"Randy—"

"No, no, do your job, Wonder Woman." He threw open the armoire and stared at the rows and rows of small dresses and shoes. "Where the hell did she get all this stuff?"

"You don't know?" Lily shook Holly, but she kept on crying.

"I was back on the road after the first month practically." Randy pulled open one of the drawers. "Jesus! How many headbands does she need?"

"She's a little girl."

"She doesn't _have hair_!"

"She will, though. You need to be prepared, Randy."

Randy scoffed and took down a bag from one of the hooks on the wall, stuffing clothes in it mercilessly. He looked up at her when Holly didn't quiet down. "Not as easy as it looks, is it, Doc?"

"She's just like her dad."

"You calling me a crybaby?"

"No, you're stubborn." Lily sighed and turned to the crib, pulling the stuffed animal out of it and holding it in front of the baby's face. Holly's eyes opened wider and she stopped for a second, reaching out for the tiger's foot.

Randy paused, holding the bag loosely. "There it is."

"The toy?" Lily smiled slightly, letting Holly take it. "I think she's calming down."

"Here."

Lily looked up at Randy, who was holding the bag out to her. "What?"

"Give me my kid back." He cradled Holly in one arm and shoved the bag into Lily's empty ones. "Keep putting clothes in there."

Lily let the bag drop. "Randy."

He wouldn't look at her. "What?"

"You know we can't take her."

"Yes, we can."

"No, Randy. It's too dangerous."

"We're _taking_ her," he hissed.

Lily watched him stop in front of the window again, the light hitting the glass just as he stepped up to it. He stayed there for a while, just basking in the rays, but then he slowly leaned forward and pressed his forehead to it.

She moved closer to him. "We can't take her."

"Why not?" he whispered.

"She'll get hurt."

He was silent for a second. "She's the only thing that keeps me sane."

"So you don't want to lose her."

He turned around. "What if I don't come back?"

Lily shrugged sadly. "That's just something you're going to have to deal with."

"I can't deal with that. I need her."

"You can't put her life at risk for your selfish reasons."

"It's not _selfish_—"

Lily shushed him. "I can understand you can't live without your daughter. But Holly would be better off with your parents now, especially since you're sort of on the lam."

Randy looked down at the baby, now sound asleep, and touched her chubby cheek lightly with his thumb. "I love you, Holly."

Lily watched him as he slowly walked back over to the crib and placed her in it gently, pulling the little pink blanket up around her. He leaned against the railing on his forearm, his other hand cradling the baby's tiny head.

"Be a good girl," he choked.

Lily bit her lip.

He stood up and turned, glancing up at her before he went to the door wordlessly. Lily followed him out and went downstairs, where he was waiting in the open entrance.

"You okay?" she asked quietly, shielding her eyes against the sun.

He went to his car and opened the door. "Let's go."

Lily sighed and got in with him, watching him intently as he pulled away and sped toward the Thruway.

He stared out the front window, fingers gripping the steering wheel. It was a few moments later when one of his big hands lifted and swiped at his left eye, his mouth set tightly.

He glanced at her. "Why the fuck are you staring at me?"

"No reason at all," she said, and turned toward the window to hide her small smile.

**A/N: AW RANDY'S GOT A HEART. I got great reviews the last time—****let****'****s keep it up! Review.**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: My birthday is this Sunday. Wink wink.**

The ride was silent. Randy stared at the pavement of ahead of him, the late evening sunlight hitting his face. They'd be driving all day, him silent, Lily awkwardly staring out at the open road. It was darkening all around them when she finally turned to him.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

His grip tightened on the steering wheel, just slightly, but his face didn't move, his eyes locked forward. He was quiet for a minute or two. "I don't know."

"Are we still in Missouri?"

"No." He changed lanes without looking. "We're somewhere in South Dakota."

"_What_?"

He nodded. "We're going to Canada. I think."

"You _think_?"

"Don't question my judgment," he snapped. "I'm driving this goddamn car, we're going where I say we're going."

"Are you crazy? If they're looking for you, you don't think they'll stop you at the border? I guarantee they already have police waiting for you!"

"You don't know a damn thing."

"Randy, you have to think about this. There's _no where to go_."

"Shut up," he hissed.

"No, I will not. I regret coming on this trip, do you know that?"

"Do I _care_?"

"You should, since you practically _begged_ me to go with you."

Randy's eye twitched. "I didn't _beg you_ to do _anything_."

"Yes, you did. With your big blue eyes and your sad little face. 'Oh, please, Lily, I need you. It would make me so—"

Randy swerved onto the shoulder of the road and screeched the car to a halt, pushing out through the door before he even stopped. Lily sat, shocked, as she watched him walk around the front of the car.

"What are you doing?" she asked quietly, watching him.

He tore open her door and unbuckled her himself, grabbing her by the roots of her hair to haul her out of the car.

"Randy! Randy, _stop it_!"

"You want to see begging? Do you?" He pulled her to the line, waiting for a small gap in traffic. He threw her down into the lane and put his boot underneath her chin. "Huh? You want to see _begging_?"

She gasped and choked, staring up at the lunacy swirling behind those eyes.

"_Beg_. Tell me to let you up, to keep you from getting your _skull crushed_ by a car." He pushed a little harder on his foot. "You know, if I don't _kill you_ before that happens."

"Randy..." she hissed.

"Beg, come on." He glared down at her for a while, turning his head when he saw headlights. His eyes flashed white and he smiled. "Here comes a car!"

"_Randy_!"

He looked down at her again. "_Beg_."

"Randy, _please_!"

"_Harder_. Come on, _beg for me_."

"Randy, this is—"

He put more pressure on his toes.

She choked, eyes starting to water. She stared up at him. "_Please_."

The car barreled past them, blaring its horn. Randy finally bent down and snagged her loose ponytail again, pulling her to her feet. He pushed her against the hood of the car.

"Get in," he snarled.

Lily kept a hold on her throbbing throat as she clawed her way to the front seat, getting in and shutting the door silently.

Randy pulled out quickly and continued their silent ride as if nothing had even happened.

* * *

Randy glanced over at her.

_Stupid bitch._

He couldn't really remember why he was mad at her, but his blood was definitely boiling. Since no one else was in the car, he could only assume it was her.

_That stupid, stupid bitch_.

She was asleep against the passenger window, eyes closed, mouth open just slightly. Randy could see her chest rise and fall with each peaceful breath she took.

He just couldn't help it.

He swerved to the left, then the right really quickly, jerking Lily into the window.

She woke up flailing her arms. "What the—!"

He turned to look out his window to hide his snickering.

Lily rubbed her head. "You're a fucking asshole."

"What?"

"You did that on purpose."

"There was a possum in the road."

She stared at him.

"What? You want me to run over a wild animal?"

"There was no possum."

"How would you know? You were asleep."

Lily glared at him. "Fuck off."

"Someone's testy."

"I'm not test—" Lily paused. Furrowed her brow. "Wait..."

"Huh?"

She turned around, looking out the back window. "Where are we?"

"South Dakota."

She frowned. "Shouldn't we be in North Dakota?"

"We're not going to Canada."

She looked at him. "Oh?"

"Yeah, you had a point. They'd be looking for us."

"For _you_."

"Technically, I kidnapped you. I think." He glanced at her. "So us."

Lily bit the side of her lip. "Well... where are we going, then?"

"Right now?" He pulled off at an exit, into the nearest motel's parking lot. "We're going to sleep."

"What? Randy, we can't—"

"It's just one night, Doc."

"They'll run your credit card. The police—"

"Can't track me down with cash."

"Your license? They need identification."

Randy winked. "I know how to book a room without all that legal business."

Lily frowned. "Ew."

"It's all in the flirting, Doc." He smiled. "You know what I'm sayin'?"

Lily waited in the car until Randy went through everything to get one room. It was small, but thankfully had two beds, and a small television right on top of the dresser.

"Should we see if you're on the news?" she asked quietly.

"In South Dakota?" Randy's boots thumped to the carpeted floor. "No. I doubt it."

Lily shrugged and sat on her own bed.

He frowned. "What's gotten into you?"

"Oh, _nothing_."

"Why's your neck bleeding?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Don't play cute with me, Randy—"

"I'm serious."

She turned her head and met his solid gaze. "I pissed you off earlier."

And that solid gaze melted, withered, until his eyes were searching her face. "What'd I do?" he whispered.

"Stopped the car, pushed me into the road, held me down. You know, your basic tactics."

He dropped his eyes to the comforter, and then he growled, running his fingers over his lids. "I wondered why I was so mad at you."

"Surprise."

He looked up at her. "I'm sorry."

She frowned. "Excuse me?"

"I don't apologize often." He shrugged. "Not my style, you know?"

She stayed quiet.

"But... seriously. I'm sorry."

Lily let out a frustrated breath, running her hands over her face. "It's all right. Just... forget about it."

"I don't have to, Doc." He smiled weakly and rolled over. "I can't remember it in the first place."

**A/N: If you don't want to write me a story, you could always review this as a birthday present... It'd make me insanely happy. Review!**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Sorry, it's been a while.**

Randy had shaken Lily awake and thrown her into the car before the sun had even risen the next day. And there they were, out on the open road again, with nothing around them but fields and blue skies painted with white.

Lily clutched her stomach quickly.

He didn't look over. "What?"

"Nothing."

He glanced at her, but turned his directional on, changing lanes. "Don't give me that chick bullshit. What's wrong?"

"Chick bullshit? I resent that."

"Fuck what you resent, what's the matter?"

Lily pursed her lips, glaring at him. "I'm just hungry. My stomach made a noise."

"Oh." Randy bit the inside of his cheek to keep the small laugh in his chest from escaping. "Well, that's too bad."

"Aren't you hungry?"

He shook his head.

Lily shifted a little, putting her feet up on the dashboard.

"Don't do that," he said emotionlessly.

"Don't do what?"

"Don't act stupid."

"I'm not acting stupid—I'm sitting here."

"You know that's not what I meant." He motioned with his hand impatiently, not even bothering to look at her. "Get your feet off the dashboard."

He could see her sneering at him, but she complied anyway, fluttering her lips as she looked out the side window. Maybe he'd finally be able to get some peace and quiet if she just—

"So where are we going?"

His fingers tightened around the steering wheel. "I _told_ you, I don't _know_."

"So you're driving aimlessly? Great."

"You want to drive?" he snarled, finally turning his head. When she said nothing, he narrowed his eyes at her and went back to the road. "That's what I thought."

It was quiet for a minute or two.

"Why are you so mean all the time?"

Randy let out the breath he was holding angrily, rubbing a hand down his face. "_What_?"

"Can't you just be nice for once? I know you have an anger problem but that doesn't mean you can treat people rudely."

"You're pissing me off," he said blatantly.

"I mean, you're not angry _all_ the time. Only when people add fuel to the fire do you snap, so what's the point in being disrespectful if you have nothing to back it up?"

"You're pissing me _off_," he said a little louder.

"It must be terribly lonely when all you have is your anger."

Randy slammed on the breaks, jerking the car onto the shoulder tightly as cars honked behind them. Dust flung up as the wheels screeched against the pavement.

Lily flew back against her seat once the car settled. "What the hell is wrong with—"

"Get out of the car," he hissed, bent over the wheel, hands tight.

"_What_? Randy—"

"Get out of the car."

"But—"

"_Get out_!" He met her gaze, eyes shifty. "Get out of my _fucking_ car."

Lily unbuckled her seat belt and pushed out, yelping when he drove off almost immediately, the door practically snapping against her hand.

Randy watched her disappear in the rear-view mirror.

* * *

Lily watched another car drive by.

She had to have been out there for almost two hours, just sitting on one of the rocks near the edge of the road. She was stuck in the middle of nowhere with no way of getting a hold of anyone.

And all for stupid Randy Orton.

She deserved the fucking Nobel Peace Prize for all the work she did for Randy.

And how does he repay her?

He deserts her on the side of the fucking road.

Lily sighed heavily and put her face in her hands, shaking her head. How could she have been so stupid? He only wanted her to tag along because he couldn't function on his own. He'd be in jail by nightfall, she was sure of it.

She looked up when she heard another car.

Goddamn it.

Why wasn't anyone stopping? If she saw a young woman sitting on the side of the road, she'd pull over and see if she needed help. All these fucking assholes were just like Randy—inconsiderate and selfish.

She lifted her head to the sky, pushing her hair back. There was a hard wind blowing across the plains, lifting dust and dirt into her eyes. Randy was not worth it, _at all_. She was almost glad that she'd never have to see him again, because a Randy-less life would be one worth living.

Her neck practically snapped when she heard a horn.

Or maybe not.

She stayed still as the familiar car coasted up to her, squinting against the glare bouncing off the hood as the window rolled down.

"Need a ride?"

She let out a loud sigh and forced herself to get up. She took her time going over to the open window, leaning in nonchalantly.

He just blinked. "Get in."

"Why would I do that?"

Randy ran his fingers over the steering wheel. "Just get in, okay?"

"Apologize—"

"Fuck you," he spat.

Lily started away.

"Wait, Doc—" Randy rolled his eyes and let out an angry sigh. "Just... come on. Get in the car. I got you breakfast."

Lily stopped. Looked over her shoulder. "What?"

"I did. I found something down the road. You like pancakes?"

She turned fully, hands on her hips. "Yes."

"Then get in the car." He paused, then frowned, pained. "Please?"

Lily sighed angrily and pulled open the door. "I can't believe I'm doing this."

He handed her a bag once she was in. And smiled when she just stared at it. "I wasn't lying—I bought you breakfast. You said you were hungry."

Lily looked up at him. "You don't listen to a word I say."

"That's what you think."

Lily peeked inside, frowning. "Well. Thank you."

"It's the least I could do."

She crunched the bag. "Who _are_ you?"

He smiled slightly. "What? I'm being nice."

"But you _aren't_ nice. It's not _in_ you."

His face darkened. "There's a lot you don't know about me."

"Now there's the Randy I know. Dark and angsty."

"Please don't piss me off again." He held up his hand, eyes closed. He let out a shallow breath and put the car in drive, heading back onto the road.

Lily put the bag of food on the floor and crossed her arms.

She saw him look at her quickly.

"Aren't you gonna eat?" He stared at her when she didn't answer. "I thought you were hungry."

"Not anymore," she said quietly.

Randy grunted and ran his hand over his head, scratching at the back. His eyes went back on the road. "Do you know why I threw you out?"

Lily watched the passing scenery and said nothing.

"I threw you out because I knew you'd be safer."

"Safer?" She scoffed. "Right, Randy."

"I didn't want to kill you."

She glanced up at him quickly, his eyes still on the stretch ahead of him. She looked at her lap.

"And I knew I was going to." He gripped the wheel reflexively. "I could feel it."

"You could feel it?"

He nodded. "It was the same feeling I got right before everyone else."

Lily licked her lips. "Didn't you notice that feeling after... oh, I don't know, the second murder? The third?"

"I didn't care about those people."

"And you care about me."

His mouth set. "No. I don't."

"You're lying."

"No, I'm not."

"Then why didn't you want to kill me?"

His strong eyes met hers briefly, held her gaze. "I didn't want another murder on my hands."

Lily pursed her lips. "Oh."

Randy's tongue ran across his teeth before he faced forward again. "I decided where we're going to go."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah." He paused. "We're going to the mountains."

"The mountains?"

"Yeah."

"As in, The Rocky Mountains?"

"Could be." He shrugged, giving her a small smile. "Let's just see where the road takes us."

Lily was quiet for a minute or two. "I've never been to the mountains."

"You sound excited."

"I am. Sort of."

"Well, you shouldn't be. We're not on vacation, Doc. I'm on the run."

"I know, but..." She shrugged. "An experience is an experience, right?"

He rubbed his fingertips against his lips. "I could kill you any minute, Doc." He looked at her. "How's that for an experience?"

"But you won't."

"How do you know?"

"Because you didn't before."

Randy glanced away awkwardly, switched lanes. "Just don't get in over your head."

Lily let out a small laugh. "It's a little late for that, don't you think?"

**A/N: RANDY. The reviews for the last one were bitching! Let's get more of those coming this way. This is my favorite story ever, and I plan for it to be the best Randy story on this site! Review.**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Okay, the reviews for last chapter were a little sad. I got over 500 hits. Reviews drive me to write. I'll love you guys if you do. Promise.**

Randy sat quietly and stared at her sleeping. He didn't know whether he should wake her up or just let her do it on her own. He didn't exactly want to wait around all day for her to open her eyes, but what choice did he have?

He lifted his hand and crinkled his jacket, pulling his sleeve up a little. It was hesitant, and he dropped it, but it came up again just as quickly and shook her shoulder.

"Hey," he hissed. "Wake up."

Lily shifted and stretched slightly, eyes closed. "What time is it?"

Randy rolled his eyes, but looked at his watch anyway. "A little past six. We're here."

She squinted at him and moved her neck around. "Where are we, exactly?"

"In the mountains." He opened his door. "Put a coat on, it's pretty cold."

"I didn't bring a coat."

Randy stopped, half out of the car. "Are you kidding me?"

"Why would I joke about that?"

He sighed. "Well. Just... rub your arms or something."

She stayed in the car, even after he walked around to the hood. But he didn't venture any farther, because the surroundings made him pause. Everything was so calm, so serene. He looked up at the tall trees around them, heard a river splashing against wet rocks a few feet down.

He didn't even feel her move next to him until she was already there, holding her elbows to keep warm.

"It's breathtaking," she whispered.

"Yeah." He looked at her, then back up at nature. "It really is."

* * *

Lily stared up at the stars. Night had come quicker than she'd expected, and with nothing around them except nature itself, the sky was spectacular. She could see every twinkling star, every swirling cloud. The moon hung low and full, and the man smiled down at her, welcoming her to the great outdoors.

"I've never been camping."

Randy was leaning against the windshield, hands behind his head, eyes closed. They opened when she spoke. "Huh?"

She looked at him. "I've never been camping before."

"Oh." He shifted, and fell back into his comfortable rest. "It's not that hard."

Lily nodded. "Jim and I were supposed to go once."

"Good," he said blandly.

"Some national park, or something. He said he loved getting in touch with nature." Lily sighed and rubbed her hands together. "That was before."

Randy blinked. "Before what?"

Lily lifted her hands. "I don't know. One day, everything was perfect. Then... the light changed."

"It wasn't... me, right?"

"You didn't help it," she said, and laughed when he looked away. "It's not your fault, Randy. It'd been happening before you even came into the picture."

"That's good." He let out a sigh and stared up at the sky. "Lauren and I tried camping once."

"Yeah?" Lily hesitated, then leaned back, letting her cheek touch the cool glass of the windshield. "How'd that go?"

"She was a city girl," he said simply. "She was freaking out because there wasn't any running water. And I might've thrown a pair of her favorite shoes in the river."

Lily couldn't help but laugh. "_What_?"

He shrugged, and tried to hide his smile. "Yeah. She was complaining about the dirt everywhere and that her shoes were never going to get clean. So I just picked them up"—he pulled his hand from behind his head and threw it forward—"and off they went, into the river."

"She must've been livid."

"She was." His hand went back to where it was, but his eyes were dull. His face darkened. "I... guess I had an anger problem, even then."

Lily dropped her gaze, then rolled onto her back. Her arm was practically touching his side. "Do you miss her?"

He paused, and she could feel him breathing. "Yes," he barely said.

She looked up at him through her lashes. His face was unreadable, but his jaw was clenched tightly. "Tell me your fondest memory of her."

He scoffed at the sky, trying to conceal the tears at the back of his throat with a cough. "What?"

"Tell me a memory. The one you think about the most."

"I can't think of anything."

"Come on. Something that flashes across your eyes whenever you hear her name."

Randy was silent for a moment, and his arms flexed involuntarily. "When Holly was born."

Lily nodded and craned her neck to look at him.

"She was... radiant. I thought Holly was beautiful, and I couldn't really grasp the concept that she was _mine_. But Lauren..." Randy let out a sigh, licking the smile off his lips. "She was... just _so ready_. It was like she'd been doing it forever."

Lily smiled. "That's a great memory, Randy."

He glanced down at her. "What about you, Doc?"

"Me?"

"Yeah." He shifted slightly, a little closer. "Come on, I told you. Spill it."

Lily frowned. "I... can't think of one. Off the top of my head."

"Then don't think with your head." He moved, and his hand was over her heart. She looked up to find him smiling. "Think hard."

Lily let out a shaky breath and closed her eyes.

Nothing.

The lump was in the back of her throat, and she had a harder time covering it up. It wasn't until his fingers were under her lashes, wiping away tears, that she realized she was crying.

"There's nothing," she whispered.

"Then you never really loved him."

Lily lifted her gaze, found Randy looking at her. "Did you love Lauren?"

He nodded, wiping her cheeks gently.

"With all your heart?"

"With all my heart," he repeated.

"What's that like?"

Randy stared at her, eyes shaking. He moved away. "You just know."

Lily turned her head, but she sat up when he got off the hood. The car shook slightly.

"Where are you going?" she asked quietly.

He cracked his knuckles with one hand. "I'm going to... take a walk."

"Randy—"

"Take the backseat, Doc." He nodded at her, walking backwards. "It's more comfortable."

"Randy, I—"

"I'll try not to wake you when I get back."

And then he disappeared, ducking under a few branches.

Lily sighed and fell back against the windshield. Her eyes traveled to the forest, to Randy's vacated spot, then to the sky.

A star shot by, quicker than lightning.

_Make a wish_.

**A/N: WOO WOO WOO. Review.  
**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: YES. MY JEFF STORY WAS A SUCCESS. And now it's time for Randy, because I love this story so much.**

He wasn't there.

Lily woke up to birds chirping and the sun shining. It was like a picture, with the trees hanging low, casting shadows onto the sparkling ground.

But Randy was gone.

She got out of the car and went a few feet into the woods, disappearing into the seclusion of it. But all she saw were limbs twisted and broken, and bushes overgrown onto trunks.

How could he just leave her like that?

He even took the keys. If worse came to worse, she would've just driven the car back to civilization, where she could at least check in somewhere. But there he left her, stranded and alone.

She thought he'd opened up last night. She saw a different side of Randy that she had never known—that no one probably knew about. She hoped he was starting to come around, to realize that she could help him.

But then he left.

And Lily couldn't help but feel so alone.

When she climbed onto the roof of the car, she sat back and stared up at the blue sky. The clouds were wispy and scarce, barely concealing the sun when they passed over it.

Her stomach rumbled.

And then she heard a snap.

Lily looked up. The trees were still, but the bushes were swaying in the breeze. She couldn't help but feel the coolness of the air right then, and she hugged her knees to her chest, just watching the darkness ahead of her.

"What are you doing up there?"

Her scream ripped through the forest, and she whipped around, found Randy staring up at her. His shirt sleeves were ripped off and his jeans were torn up at the knees.

"Where have you been?" she cried.

"Take it easy, Doc, I just went for a walk."

"_Last night_!"

He wagged his hand at her. "I don't have to answer to you."

"You said you'd come back last night. I thought you _left me_!"

"Why would you ever think that?"

"Because you don't care about anyone but yourself!"

Birds flapped out of the trees above them, cawing and soaring up into the air. The silence hung thick, Randy glaring at her with his illuminated eyes.

"I want to show you something," he said, and turned to go back into the forest.

"What?"

"Come on." He waved his hand, disappeared between some branches.

Lily jumped down from the car and hurried after him. "Randy! Slow down!"

"Keep up, then." He held a limb up for her, letting it snap back once she went through. "Watch where you step."

Lily struggled to climb over an overgrown root, slipping a few times. Randy roughly caught her by her elbow.

"I said _watch it_," he growled. He pushed her over it and hopped up easily, hitting the ground again. "It's not that hard. Just go for it."

"Says you."

"You're not _impaired_. You've got legs, use them."

Lily glared at him and continued following him, tripping over rocks and skidding on wet earth. She could hear a noise, a strange noise, and it was getting louder as they went farther in.

"Do you know how to get back?" she asked, grunting when she had to pull herself over a fallen log.

"Yes, I know how to get back."

"I was just asking."

"Well, you got your answer."

Lily stopped walking. "What's the matter with you?"

"I thought you knew, Doc."

"No, I mean your attitude. You're gentle one minute, the next minute you're—"

He grabbed her arm and jerked her forward. "Don't talk about that."

"Talk about what?"

"Last night."

"What about last night?" She broke away from him. "When you were actually human? When you actually had feelings and a heart?"

"I have _both _of those," he growled.

"I _know_ you do. You just don't _show it_."

"I don't need to show it to you, or anybody."

"Why, Randy? Why are you so apt to hide your feelings?"

"_Stop_ making me look like a _pussy_, okay? I don't _hide my feelings._" He turned on a growl and punched the tree next to him, continuing up the path.

Lily watched the trunk shudder slightly, a few leaves falling.

She followed him until she saw light, bright and sunny. "What's up ahead?"

"Do you ever _shut up_?"

Lily frowned and jumped over a rock, watching her feet closely. She didn't want to step on any animals or, God forbid, _snakes_—

Her head hit solid rock, and she stumbled back.

Randy turned around in a second. "_Watch where you're going_," he snarled.

Lily rubbed her head. "You're like a brick wall."

"Thanks." He pulled a few bushes apart and stepped through them gingerly, letting them swing back when Lily stepped up.

She huffed and stumbled through them herself, tripping on a twig once she got through.

Her breath caught in her throat.

"What is this?" she whispered.

"What does it look like?" Randy turned back to the flowing water glistening in the sun. "It's a river. I don't know where it leads."

Lily bent down to look at it. "It's beautiful—"

"Don't step too close!" He snagged her elbow. "Do you know how fast that shit's going? You'll be swept away in seconds."

Lily felt a chill run over her as the light changed. A cloud past overhead and the river turned murky, speeding over rocks and moss.

"Looks different without sun," she whispered.

"No shit." He pulled her. "Come on, this way."

Lily turned and watched as Randy pulled her down to the edge, where there were rocks piled up, like a bridge. "What are you doing?"

He walked over them carefully, holding his arms out for balance. "There's something a little farther down I want to show you."

"We have to _cross this_?"

"Yeah."

"No, no, no, no, no." She turned away. "No, no, I can't do this."

"Come on."

Lily looked over her shoulder.

Randy had his hand out, halfway across. "Just trust me."

She frowned at his hand, and when it flexed, she just looked up at his tempting expression.

Their fingers touched, and he pulled her.

"You okay?" he asked quietly, walking backwards.

"Yes."

He faced forward. "Watch your step."

"Where?" Lily looked around frantically, searching for a gap, a space.

She didn't notice the slippery rock just ahead of her.

* * *

He heard her scream, felt a tug, and then her soft hand was gone.

"Fuck!" he yelled, and tried to grab her, but she disappeared into the water.

_Shit_! Shit, shit, shit!

Randy fell to his hands and knees and watched the river fly over the rocks below him, twisting and turning and spinning downhill.

"Come on, come up," he hissed.

He heard her scream again, and he looked up. She was at least a hundred feet away, but she disappeared once more, underneath the current.

He beat his fist against the rock, felt it crumble beneath him. He got up and hopped to the edge of the river, barreling down to where he last saw her. She had to be farther away now.

"Randy!"

He followed her voice, and before he knew it, he was airborne, he was cold, and then everything was silent.

He flipped his head above the water and took a big gulp, fighting against the waves crashing over his shoulders. He was moving just as fast as she was, but he tried to control himself, pushing with the water to get to her.

She was gone again.

"Fuck!" he screamed again, and dove underwater.

It was murky and green, and fish swam past his eyes as he searched for her. He saw legs, dark and dim and barely visible, and he paddled toward them as hard as he could.

The river bowled over him, sending him flying, feet over his head. He tried to regain his stance but it was just too powerful.

His heart was pounding.

He'd be damned if he let her die out here.

He pushed up to the surface, trying his hardest to keep his head above the water. "Doc!" he coughed hoarsely.

"Randy!"

Randy looked over and saw her holding onto a rock, her face pressed against it, water or tears, he couldn't tell, streaking down her cheeks.

_Thank God._

He swam over to her, fighting with all his might, and grabbed her arm once he got to her. The edge was right there, within arms reach, but the current wrapped its hands around his legs and tugged.

"Randy, we have to get out of here," she whimpered.

"I know, just hold on as tight as you can, okay?"

She nodded and grabbed onto his shoulder. Randy pulled himself across the rock, trying to reach the tree roots stretching out to him, beckoning him. He needed to grab them if they wanted to live.

The river said no, and dragged him back with all its might.

But Lily screamed again, and Randy pushed himself, snagging onto the ground.

"Get out!" he yelled.

"Randy, I can't move!"

"Come on, you have to!" He slipped a little, but wrapped his fingers around the root tightly, pulling himself up. "Come on, _trust me_."

Lily groaned slightly and then reached out, grabbing onto the limb above his hand. He dropped that one and used it to push her out, onto the mud and sand above them.

And with her help, he fell next to her, hacking and spitting water.

Her chest was heaving, and she turned to hug him tightly. "Thank you, Randy. You saved my life."

But all he did was growl and get to his feet.

She looked up at him. "Are you o—"

"I should've let you drown," he hissed.

Her mouth dropped. "What?"

His eyes were barely slits as he stared at her, pushing breaths through his teeth, fists clenched at his sides.

"My life would be so much easier if I did."

**A/N: Only 8 reviews for 500 hits. This displeases me. Review.**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: A little short, but then again, so were the reviews. If you can favorite this story, you can say, "Good job, MacKenzie! I'm not surprised that Edge fell in love with you!" Or... something like that.**

Randy had built a fire when they finally got back to the car. It was almost evening, a golden twilight settling between the trees as Randy tossed dead wood onto the roaring flames. Lily watched from the hood, her knees to her chest, still cold and damp from earlier. She had clothes to change into, but she couldn't move.

He wanted her dead. That's what he was saying. That's what he was implying.

He chucked another branch into the flames, the fire's reflection waving in his eyes. He glanced up and turned to her, over his shoulder. "You got everything you need?"

She nodded slightly, and rested her chin on her knees.

"Okay. I'm going for a walk."

She nodded again.

He paused. "Are you hungry?"

Just a simple lift of her shoulders, eyes on the metal beneath her.

"There are some granola bars in the glove compartment." He sighed. "We probably should've brought some food, huh?"

"Yeah," was her weak reply.

"Well, maybe tomorrow you can go down to the nearest town. Get some stuff."

"Okay."

He glared at her. "What's your problem?"

"Nothing." She slid off the car, opened the back door. "I'm going to change. Have fun."

She watched him through the front window, the way he just stood there and stared, before he shook his head and took off into the forest.

She changed slowly, her body aching, joints tightening with every movement. She didn't have anything warm, but dry clothes certainly helped her. A hoodie was sticking out of the gym bag Randy brought, and she was tempted to take it, but she just took one of the granola bars and headed out to the fire.

He wanted her dead. Why would he let her use his hoodie?

Maybe if she froze to death he'd be happier.

She took a couple of bites, chewing weakly. She couldn't taste anything, just felt the rough, mealy texture sliding over her gums and down her throat. She threw the rest of it into the fire and watched the wrapper melt.

It was darker when he finally came back, snapping into the clearing. She ignored him, eyes still dancing in the flames. And even when he sat next to her, she kept her gaze strong.

"Have you ever wondered why we're here?"

Lily had to look up at him. "We're here because you murdered four people and escaped from an insane asylum."

"I didn't mean here_ physically_." He glared at her. "I meant... philosophically."

"Oh." She turned back to the fire.

"I guess..." He cleared his throat. "I don't know, I guess I've just had a lot of time to think, you know?"

She didn't react.

"Was I... Was I _put_ on this earth to... to become a murderer? To go out on the open road, to force you to go with me? To leave my family, to leave my daughter both motherless and fatherless?"

"No."

He looked at her. "No?"

"No." She shook her head. "You made choices. Bad ones. And this is what you get."

"At least I made one good choice," he said, smiling.

"What's that?"

"I made you come with me."

"Oh, yeah? I thought you wanted me dead."

It was awkward after that, so much that Lily could taste it. Her words seeped in and Randy moved away slightly, bringing his knees up.

"Did I say that?" he asked quietly.

"Yes. You told me if I drowned, your life would be so much easier."

He looked over at her. "I was mad."

"Were you? I didn't get that vibe."

He turned back to the fire and put his mouth on his crossed arms, staring into the flames. "Just for the record, Doc," he said softly. "I don't really think that."

"Wonderful."

"You do make my life complicated, though."

She looked up at him. "What?"

He nodded. "You do."

"How so?"

He glanced at her awkwardly, then got to his feet. "I need to go for a walk. I'll be back this time, I promise."

She got up, too. "Randy, how do I complicate your life?"

"Put that out when you go to bed," he said, and headed for the trees.

"Randy! Answer me!"

He turned to her, stared. "Are you cold?"

Lily didn't realize she'd be shivering until the words left his mouth. Her skin was bumpy, her limbs jittery. She nodded slightly.

"There's a hoodie in the backseat." He turned away. "You can use it."

* * *

She was asleep. The fire was out, smoke rising weakly toward the sky. Randy walked cautiously toward the moonlit car, nature crunching beneath his feet with each step. He'd only be gone for an hour or so, but it looked like Lily had just went to bed right after he'd left.

His fingers were around the driver's handle when he glanced into the back and saw her curled up, facing away from him.

He shook his head.

_Fuck_.

He couldn't handle it anymore.

Slowly, he went to the back door, and opened it, trying his hardest to keep it from making any noise. She didn't stir, even as he climbed in beside her, as he shut the door to keep the warmth inside.

He turned back to her, and just froze.

The hood of his sweatshirt was over her head, and her hands were twitching against the pushed back seat. Her feet were swishing against each other.

He leaned over and pulled the hood down slowly, his fingers curling under the collar of the garment. She stirred, but didn't wake, and he finally lowered his face and kissed the back of her jaw.

Her eyes opened, and she turned quickly, staring up at him with wide, bleary eyes. He just shook his head and bent down, kissing her softly on the mouth.

"What are you doing?" she whispered.

"Please don't ask me that," he whispered back. He turned her over and kissed her more comfortably, his hands on either side of her head.

"I don't understand." She sounded like she was going to cry.

"I don't, either."

That didn't stop him from kissing her. It didn't stop him from unzipping his hoodie, taking off his own shirt. It didn't stop him from kissing her neck, from moving down to her collarbone.

"This isn't right," she said quietly.

He nodded. "I know."

"Then what are you doing?"

He moved back up to her face, looked at her flushed cheeks and messy hair. She was breathing so hard, her eyes lit up with something he couldn't recognize.

He pushed her strands back. "Just making another bad choice."

**A/N: Ah, bittersweet. I hope this makes the readers from day one go "FINALLY!" because I held out as long as I could. Review. (I MEAN IT!)**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Um, this guy's a wee bit short, but that's good news for you because that means I'll update sooner because of it. I wish it was longer, but I really couldn't punch you guys in the heart if it was, so here it is. Thanks for the all the killer reviews, btw. DO IT AGAIN!**

Nails on the roof.

She could hear it, just on the outskirts of her mind. It pounded and sliced through her unconsciousness, willing her eyes to open and welcome the rainy day. The windows were fogged, but she could see through them, the hard water beating down against the leaves above the car.

She was alone.

What a surprise.

She sat up and rubbed at her cloudy head, trying to find any trace of him. But there was none. No shirt, no shoes, no jeans. Just an empty space, the way she'd left it when she went to bed last night.

Maybe she'd dreamed it. It was the only logical thing she could think of.

The car shifted, and Lily looked up. Through the windshield, Randy's bent back faced the rain, the hood of his sweatshirt limply covering his head.

She pulled on the clothes she slept in and opened the back door, stepping into the puddles directly below her. They splashed mud onto her shins, onto her ankles, but she went to him, barefoot, just to see his face.

She wanted him to be real.

He didn't look at her when she stopped to stare. His eyes were on the wet bonfire pit in front of him, hand near his mouth as he dragged on a cigarette.

But then he moved, just a fraction of an inch.

_Sit with me_.

Lily felt her heart start to pound, but she swallowed the thumping in her throat and climbed up next to him, slipping on the metal. Her shorts got wet when she sat down.

He kept smoking and said nothing.

She laced her fingers between her knees. "Do you know what time it is?"

He didn't do anything at first, but there his arm was suddenly, shaking his sleeve back, the Rolex pushed out for her to look at.

She frowned and touched his wrist to turn it.

He jerked away, and looked at her. Just looked at her.

No anger. No rage.

Nothing.

"Sorry," she said weakly.

He fixed his sweatshirt and went back to smoking. His hood shielded his eyes, dark as they were already. She watched the way his lashes fluttered against his skin whenever he looked down.

"Can I ask you something?"

He glanced up, not at her, but at the trees across from them, and clenched his jaw.

"Was last night... I mean, did I dream it?"

One eyebrow raised, and the slightest amusement touched the blue. He flicked some ash onto the wet ground. "You dream about that?" he asked quietly, voice low but playful.

She hit his arm slightly. "That's not what I meant."

He smoked loudly, the paper burning away. "Well," he said on an inhale. "It definitely wasn't make believe."

"So it happened."

He smiled, just a bit, but the humor was gone. "Yeah." He wouldn't look at her. "It was real, Doc."

"Okay."

He flung the cigarette away, watching the tip disappear into the murky pockets of water in front of them. "_Just_ okay?"

"No!" She blushed slightly. "That's... I didn't mean—"

"I getcha, Doc." He slid off the car easily. "I getcha."

Her head turned as he walked away, toward the forest. "Where are you going?"

"For a walk," he said.

"Randy, wait!"

But he kept moving, going toward the trees.

Lily hopped off and went after him, slipping in mud, getting her knees scraped and messy. But she pressed on, and found sanctuary beneath the leaves, like a canopy of dryness.

She caught his arm. "Randy, please—"

"I can't."

She let go and stumbled slightly. "What?"

"I _can't_," he whispered.

"What can't you do?"

"I _can't_," he said a little louder, voice panicked.

"I don't understand, Randy."

"_I can't_!" His voice echoed through the stillness of the land, and he turned to her, eyes pleading. "I _can't_."

With her heart pounding, she stepped toward him.

"_Go away_," he groaned weakly.

"Randy." She moved just a tiny bit. "I don't understand."

"I can't."

"What can't you do?" She put a hand to his chest.

He looked down at her sadly. "I can't, Lily."

"You can't..." She slid her fingers down, grabbing his wrists. He made a weak noise when she placed them around her. "Hold me?"

"I can't," he hissed, through his teeth.

"You can't..." She ran her fingers up to his neck. "Touch me?"

He let out a grunt and closed his eyes, trying to turn his head.

She cupped his face, and kept it still. "You can't... kiss me?"

He was stone when her lips touched his own, but before she knew it, they were moving, and she made sure they would never stop.

But he pulled back fast, and was a few feet from her before she even opened her eyes.

He looked scared.

And helpless.

"What can't you do, Randy?" she whispered.

His head turned toward the sky as thunder cracked loudly overhead. "I can't love you." And then it lowered slowly, until his gaze met hers. "As much as I want to."

**A/N: Gah, WHAT? Review. (I MEAN IT!)  
**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: I'm glad I made you guys happy. But you should've made me happy and reviewed. Because SIX HUNDRED hits is a lot for twelve reviews. They drive me to write, people! I just want to know what my chapters do to you. So please review!**

It was still raining. Nightfall came quicker than Lily expected, mainly because she'd been walking around in a trance the entire day, but the rain stayed, and made itself comfortable right above them.

Randy had been gone since that morning, after everything was said and done. After he looked her straight in the eyes, after he blinked at her with that murderous gaze, and whispered the rawest truth he's ever spoken.

_I can't love you, as much as I want to._

Lily shifted and stared up at the dark sky. She couldn't even tell it was raining, but the pounding against the car had her twisting and turning into the night. She could hear it sliding off the trees, rivers deepening into the already muddy puddles.

She just hoped Randy was all right.

Her stomach growled. The granola bars were gone—they would have to go to some town tomorrow, somewhere insignificant. The kind of town that didn't even have a post office. To be shadows amongst the crowds, to slip in stealthily and come out unnoticed.

The car door opened like a suction cup, and the rain was louder than she thought. She rocked when he got in, and just like that, everything was muted again.

She could hear him breathing. Shivering. The wet noise of damp fabric sliding against wet skin. The slide of a zipper. The thump of shoes.

And his hand was gripping her arm tightly, his mouth against her throat.

She felt pathetic, she felt weak, but a wave of relief washed over her and she turned to him, meeting his mouth eagerly, and he moved, slapping his hands on either side of her.

The rain hardened, whipped against the car, the wind whistling through the cracks. The outside world was just a myth, foggy windows enclosing them in the only thing they knew.

Randy pulled back for a second, and his eyes were shaky, his mouth open, harsh breaths coming out. His lips were glistening.

Lily ran her hand down the side of his cold, damp face.

He bent into her neck, hot breath warming her, pushing away the rain drops. He was still, his hand sliding up against the seat, clenching near her head.

"I love you, too," she whispered.

The air thickened. Suddenly Randy's weight was too much, it was crushing her, squeezing the life from her lungs.

He rolled away and kept heaving out breaths, looking out the window. His hand came up and wiped down his face.

She turned her back to him.

She kept her eyes shut, even though they wouldn't, even though they always sprung back. She just didn't want to see her tears slide down her nose, or cloud her vision.

She just wanted to see nothing.

The car jumped with his movements.

And there it was, his tattooed arm around her, his cold chest pressed against her dry back. He let out a slow, deflating breath, and said nothing.

* * *

_Crack_.

Lily sat up.

_Crack_.

Like a gunshot.

_Crack_.

Randy was gone.

Oh, God.

Lily pushed her way out of the car and hurried around to the front, slipping in mud and debris from the rainstorm. She was alone, and the sun was barely up, the light blue of rebirth streaking across the sky.

_Crack_.

"Randy?" she called hesitantly.

_Crack_.

It was coming from her left, from a thicket of trees. Before she could even stop herself, she was hurtling her body through the gnarled roots and broken limbs, pushing herself to find him.

_Crack_.

"Randy!"

She went toward the sound, her audible compass leading her into darker and darker surroundings. It took her over a babbling brook, a patch of mossy land that sucked her feet right into the ground.

_Crack_.

It was so loud now, right beside her. She was almost there.

_Crack_.

And there she was, breaking through a barrier of broken sticks to find herself hurtling toward the edge of a cliff.

His presence skidded her feet.

He looked over his shoulder, barely saw her, and bent down again, picking up a rock between his dusty fingers.

"Randy?" she asked quietly.

He lofted it into the air and swung the branch over his shoulder.

_Crack_.

The rock went off into the distance, at the horizon, at the rolling area below.

Her heart slowed, just slightly.

"You ruined my surprise," he said quietly, and picked up another stone.

_Crack_.

She winced. "What do you mean?"

"I was going to bring you here today." _Crack_. "Where do you think I go every time I go for a walk?"

Lily glanced over at the brightening sky. "You come here?"

"It's relaxing."

"And... this is what you do?"

"You judging me?"

_Crack_.

"No, I just—"

_Crack_.

"It lets me clear my head. It helps me gather my scrambled thoughts."

Lily nodded. "It's—" _Crack_. "Very... peaceful."

"I like to think so." He turned to her completely. "But I guess it's not peaceful enough. Did I wake you up?"

"The... the noise did." She pointed to it. "It sounds like a gunshot."

"Yeah?"

She didn't like that he grinned.

"Yes," she said weakly. "It scared me."

"Oh." And then he frowned. "Sorry."

"No, no, don't worry about it." She stepped up. "So... what is it, like baseball?"

"Sorta. It's mostly I'm just hitting rocks with a stick." He smiled slightly. "Wanna try?"

"No, no, I—"

"Hey, you asked." He grabbed her wrist, pulled her to him. He switched them around and handed her the stick, bending down to search for a rock. He found a tiny one and put it between her fingers.

She looked up at him expectantly.

"What, you want lessons? Just hit the rock."

Lily sighed and tossed it up, swinging the stick weakly as it fell back to the ground.

Randy was shaking his head, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I _told_ you I wasn't athletic!"

"You don't need to know how to run a marathon to _do_ this, Doc." Randy stepped up and put his arms around her, big hands enclosed over her tiny ones. "Okay, ready?"

"Randy," she whispered.

His mouth was near her ear. "What?"

"I need a rock."

"Oh." He stepped back. "Right. Sorry."

He picked it up again and then went behind her, his chest pressed against her back. One hand around both of hers, he said, "Ready?"

She nodded weakly and closed her eyes.

He flipped it up and swung the stick quickly.

_Crack_.

Lily's eyes shot open as she watched the rock careen over the side. "I did it!"

"I _guess_."

She pushed him back. "Shut up, I did it."

"Tell all your friends," he sneered playfully, sitting down on the ledge.

Lily stood awkwardly for a second, before she let the stick drop. She sat next to him.

It was quiet for a minute.

"So... Are—"

He held his hand up. "Shh, shh."

"But Randy, I—"

"Can't you just... _feel_ the moment, Doc?" He turned to her, eyes heavy. "Can't you just let the air talk instead of you?"

Lily blinked up at his pretty blue eyes.

And then they were crystal.

Both heads turned as the sun peaked its head over the horizon. Slowly, it lit up the entire place below them, the lakes, the hills, the trees, the houses. It crept up the side of the mountain, touched their feet, tickled their eyes.

Lily felt Randy hesitate.

And then he put his arm around her.

And didn't say another word.

**A/N: This is slowly dwindling toward an end. Kind of. Review.**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: I have three possible endings. One is the happy ending that everyone wants and sort of expects. The other is the original ending I had from the beginning and the third is a new one I just thought of. It's going to be a tough decision but whichever one I choose, I might put a B-side ending after the story is over and done with.**

Lily walked slowly around the aisles of the cold, brightly lit convenient store just at the mouth of the nearest town. It was barely eight in the morning, so the customers were sparse, just her and another older gentleman looking through the beer selection.

She grabbed what she knew would last, but were still healthy enough for Randy's picky appetite. And she didn't get a lot, in hopes that he would figure out that she didn't want to stay long. That she was waiting for the earliest possible time to head home.

She placed the stuff on the counter and smiled weakly at the girl who started ringing her up.

What would happen when they got back home? If enough time had passed, the whole situation might've blown over. What then? Do they continue whatever twisted relationship they were sharing now?

The girl paused, hand on a bag of pretzels.

Lily glanced up. "Something wrong?"

She shook her head. But stopped again. "I feel like I know you."

Lily grabbed her ponytail awkwardly. "What do you mean?"

"You look familiar," she said vaguely. She shrugged and kept ringing her stuff up. "I don't know, you might look like my sister."

"Probably." Lily glanced back at the guy behind her, pushing her sunglasses up a little farther on her nose. "I'm new to this town."

"Why would you ever move to a town like _this_?" The girl's eye make-up was frosted, a light blue. She smacked pink gum between her teeth. "It's a shithole. I can't wait to get out of here."

"Are you... in high school?"

"Nah, I go to the community college right up the street." Why was it taking her so long to bag everything? "I want to be an actress. Move to New York, maybe."

"Well, it's the city to go to." Lily tapped her fingers patiently against the counter, the twenty Randy had given her crisp in her hand.

_Randy._

"Shit," she hissed.

The girl looked up.

"I—Sorry." She smiled. "I need a carton of Marlboros, too."

"Light or Red?"

"Uh..." Lily lifted her shoulders. "I don't know, they're for my..."

_Boyfriend_?

"Brother," she finished.

Awkward.

The girl nodded. "Oh. Well, I don't really know—"

"Just give me Reds. I'm sure that's it."

The girl took the carton from the shelf behind her and bagged it with the rest of the stuff. "Does your brother live here, too?"

"Yes," she said tightly.

"Really? Where? Everyone knows everyone in this town."

"No, no, he... he moved here with me."

"Oh." The girl eyed her as she hit the total. "Eighteen forty-six."

Lily handed her the money and glanced at the old guy again. She couldn't shake that uncomfortable feeling that had settled over them.

"Would you like a receipt?"

"Uh, sure." Lily snagged the bags as soon as she got her change back, pushing it in the over-size pockets of Randy's hoodie. "Have a good day."

"You, too," the girl said airily.

Lily shouldered out the door and let out the breath she'd been holding. She should've just kept walking back to the car, but she couldn't help but look over her shoulder.

And that girl was staring at her, even as she talked to the next customer.

* * *

Randy was doing push-ups when he heard the car pull up. It had been so nice and quiet while she was gone that he hadn't really wanted her to come back, but when she got out of the car all flushed and bright, he honestly had no idea why he'd wanted that in the first place.

"I think someone recognized me today."

He did one more rep before he sat back on his haunches. "Did you get my cigarettes?"

She threw the box at him and dumped the rest by the fire. "You're not the least bit worried about that?"

"About what?" He reached over, digging his hand through the bag. "Where's my shaving cream?"

"It's in there." She sat down and pulled his hoodie closer to her body. "Randy, I'm seriously freaked out. She kept saying I looked familiar."

"There are a lot of Snow Whites in the world."

The look on her face had him floored, the way her eyes lit up from the sunlight that happened to fall over her. "I look like Snow White?"

Randy cleared his throat and flipped open his pocket knife. "It's... yeah. You do."

Lily tried to hide her smile. "How do you know who Snow White is?"

"What, do I live under a rock?" Randy looked away as he shook the shaving cream. "Lauren bought it for Holly. I don't know, I guess she liked it or something."

He could see her frowning, so he kept his eyes on his hands.

"What are you doing?"

He didn't flinch. "What?"

"Are you shaving?"

He sprayed some out and started wiping it against his scruffy cheeks. "What's it to you?"

She moved toward him. "I like it rough."

He had to laugh, even if he didn't want to. "Baby, shaving won't stop that."

She hit his arm. "That's not what I meant, jerk off."

"Oh, someone's got a nasty mouth."

Lily smile faded. "I wish you wouldn't shave."

"That's too bad." He twirled the pocket knife around his finger a few times before he lifted it to his chin, scraping away the shadow along his jaw line.

It was silent for a moment.

"I think..." He flinched when he nicked just under his jaw, pressing his fingers to it quickly. "Fuck!"

"Jesus, Randy, I could've bought razors!" She grabbed his shirt from the ground and pressed it against his neck, holding it tightly. "You're an idiot, you know that?"

"Keep talking dirty, I like it."

Even though she hit him, he could see the blush rising to her cheeks. "I really hate you," she hissed, wrinkling her nose.

"That's good."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah." He grabbed her hand against his neck. "Doc, you gotta look at me."

She lifted her already shaking eyes. "What, Randy?"

He looked down, then back at her face. "I was thinking it might be time to head home."

Confusion. Then doubt. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah. You don't seem like you're handling it well out here."

"I know, but... don't you think it's a bit soon?"

Randy couldn't look her in the eye, so he turned, facing the fire instead of her.

But her body tensed, and he knew that she got it.

"You mean..." Her hand dropped, bloody shirt still tightly clenched. "It's time for _me_ to head home."

"I don't like that I dragged you into this," he said quietly.

"I dragged my_self_ into this, Randy. And I'm not leaving you."

"You don't have a _choice_."

"Yes, I do! Why do I have to go back? Why _should _I?"

"Because I've already endangered you enough! You shouldn't be out here with me, Doc. You should be... I don't know, hosting dinner parties and going to work and living with Jim."

"No," she whispered.

"I've already fucked up your life enough. You don't deserve this."

"Randy, you didn't force me—"

"Doc." He turned to her and hesitated before he dropped his hand on her knee. "Listen to me. I... I _need_ you to go. I need you to go back because I wouldn't..."

Lily's eyes were painfully searching him. "You wouldn't what, Randy?"

He let out a breath, set his jaw. "I wouldn't want something to happen to you if you stayed. We're not safe out here. I don't want you in this mess anymore."

"Randy, _please_—"

"I'm not changing my mind, Doc." He moved away, hand falling against his own leg. "We're leaving tomorrow. I'm going to take you home and then..."

She swallowed, waited. "Then?"

He sighed. "Then I'm gonna split."

He could see her crumbling out of the corner of his eye.

"Where will you go?" she asked after a minute, and even still, her voice was thick.

"I don't know." He shrugged. "I've never been to the Adirondacks."

She folded her arms around her middle tightly, lost in his hoodie. "I don't want you to leave," she whispered.

"I have to." He glanced at her. "I have to."

She sniffled, rubbing her hand against her nose. "Will you ever come back?"

Randy shrugged. "Maybe."

"What about Holly?"

A twinge snapped his heart, choked it with its hands. He let out a shaky breath. "I guess my parents are going to take care of her."

It was silent.

The fire crackled. Owls hooted. A plane flew overhead.

"You need to come back, Randy," she whispered.

He ran a hand down his tired, half-shaven face. "I'll try, Lily."

"Please." He felt her hesitate, then move, her arm wrapping around his. Her head hit her shoulder. "I... I _need_ you."

Randy waited a beat before he finally let his head drop against hers. "You did fine before you met me."

**A/N: Oh, yeah. I totally decided what I'm going to do. Review.**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Reviews were pathetic. This is the greatest Randy story of the twenty-first century. Hell, of all the centuries. Tell me that you like it. If you don't, I'll feel like I won't need to update it, and then you guys will be screwed. So do us both a favor and review. :-)**

His breath was hot.

"I want you to wake up," he whispered, wet mouth open against her ear.

Lily frowned but didn't open her eyes. "If I wake up, that means we have to leave."

"Not today." He kissed the back of her neck. "Tomorrow. Today I have a surprise for you."

"A surprise." She rolled over, blinking up at him. "What surprise?"

"Got you to wake up," he said quietly. His hand rolled over her stomach, eyes following, meeting her gaze. "Get dressed."

"But, Randy—"

"Don't fight me, Doc." He moved away, out the door. He smiled with his teeth this time, the first genuine smile she'd seen from him. "I don't like spoiling surprises."

Lily was about to protest, but he slammed the door and turned away, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of his jeans. She just watched him snap the lighter a few times, hit it against his thigh, try again. It lit and he inhaled, cheeks denting, smoke coming out of his nose.

She smiled slightly.

But then he turned and rapped his knuckles loudly against the window. "Get your ass up, I'm not waiting around all day."

He certainly had a way with words.

Lily complied grumpily, barely registering what she was doing before she hopped out of the car. He'd finished his cigarette already, his arms crossed, eyes up at the passing clouds.

"What do you see?" she asked softly.

"Possibilities," he said, with a smile. He jerked his head. "Come on, we're going for a hike."

She stopped. "Randy. You know what happened the last time we went on a walk."

"We're not going anywhere near that brook." He held his hand out, fingers curled. "Let's go, Doc. I'm not taking no for an answer."

Lily looked at his hand, then up at his face, so solemn and void of emotion. But then his eyes sparked just slightly; the quirk of an eyebrow.

She laid her fingers in his warm palm, and let him lead her away.

* * *

"Randy, I can't _walk_ if I can't see!"

"Just let me lead you." He started walking, bumping her legs whenever she hesitated. "Doc, we won't get anywhere if you keep stopping."

"I can't _see_! With your track record, you'll probably walk me off a cliff!"

"Keep pissing me off and I will," he said dangerously.

She paused. "Are you joking?"

"You better hope so." He nudged his knee in between hers, hands still covering her eyes. "Now walk. You're killing my knees."

"How am _I_ killing your knees?"

"You're so much fucking smaller than I am." He grunted when his chest hit her back. "I have to bend down to do this and you _keep stopping_."

"Then uncover my eyes and all will be well."

"I told you I had a surprise, so it has to be a _surprise_."

"Randy—"

"We're almost there! Just _walk_."

Lily sighed and started carefully moving her way through the woods. "You'll tell me if there's a root, right? I don't want to trip."

"I won't let you trip," he snarled impatiently.

"And make sure there's no rocks. Or _snakes_. Dear God—"

"_That's it_!" He ripped his hands away and bent down, swooping her up into his arms, positioning her so that her face was pressed against his chest. "This is a lot easier. Now don't peek. I'll slit your throat if you do."

Lily glanced up at him. "Do you have—"

"Hey!" He pushed her face down. "I said no peeking."

Lily whined a little into his shirt, but said nothing as they started to walk. "How far away are we?"

"Only a few feet, but you were getting on my nerves."

"This is much more comfortable."

"You're telling me." Randy stepped up onto a fallen log, hopping down easily. "Did that scare you?"

"Did what scare me?"

"Never mind." He sidestepped some bushes and pushed his way through some brush. Then he smiled. "Okay. Open your eyes."

Lily shook her head, clutching the fabric tightly. "I don't want to, Randy."

"Why not?"

"Because we're probably on the edge of a mountain or something. I—"

He put her on her feet and turned her around. "Does this look like a mountain?"

Lily gasped.

It was almost like another world—a mystical world, a world of possibilities. A glistening pool lay before them, friend to all sorts of frogs and beautiful flowers. It rippled in the early morning sun, a butterfly or two dancing around it.

She turned to him. "This is what you wanted to show me?"

He nodded. "Isn't it great? The water's warm, too."

"The water?"

"Yeah." He winked and grabbed the hem of her shirt. "Ready to go for a swim?"

She squealed and tore away from him. "I'm not going swimming!"

"Sure you are."

"I don't have a suit!"

Randy laughed loudly, eyes sparkling. And then he grabbed his shirt with both hands and pulled it over his head slowly.

Lily felt her face heating up.

"I don't have a suit, either," he said quietly, craning his neck. He spotted a tree branch hanging low, so he tossed his shirt over it, going for his belt buckle.

Lily touched her forehead. "Um, I—"

"Modest, Doc?" He snapped his belt out of the loops. "Or embarrassed?"

"Oh, God."

"Or..." He pursed his lips playfully, eyes to the sky. He popped the button on his pants. "Intrigued?"

"Randy, this is outrageous."

"What?" He pulled the zipper down. "Wanna help?"

"I can't believe you're stripping!"

"I'm not stripping—I'm getting undressed." He thumped one shoe off. "To go swimming. And you can join me, if you want."

She stared at him, wordless.

He dropped the other shoe. "I mean, that's what my plan was. One more day for... whatever _this _is before I have to ship you back home."

_Whatever this is_.

Lily lifted her gaze slowly until it reached Randy's unreadable stare. "What is this?"

He shook his head. "Don't ask me that."

"Randy—"

"_Don't_, Doc."

"But—"

"You won't like my answer."

Lily could feel her mouth quivering.

He sighed, hands dropping. "I can't be what you want me to be."

"What do I want you to be?"

He was playing with his fingernails, but his eyes shot up. They shifted slightly. "I don't know."

"You do know."

"I don't know what you want, but I know it certainly isn't fucking me in the backseat of a car."

Lily touched the back of her neck. "Jesus, Randy."

"Sorry, but that's what it is."

"You make me sound like a whore."

"No, I make it sound like I'm playing you."

"I know you're not."

Randy pursed his lips, tugging his shirt down from the tree. He slipped it over his head. "Maybe we should head back."

"No, wait—"

"We can... I mean, I need to smoke. And I didn't bring any cigarettes."

"Randy—"

"Let's go," he said curtly. He pushed his feet into his boots, sliding his belt back around his waist. "I'm having a nicotine fit, I can feel it."

"Randy, _wait_."

"I'm _not_ having this _talk_ with you!" he yelled, whipping around. "I can't have this talk with you because you'll fucking _hornswoggle_ your way into staying with me and I can't deal with that."

"Why can't you deal with that?"

"Because I _can't_!" He rubbed his hands against his face furiously. "God_damn _it, can't you just _accept things_? Why are you always second guessing everything, finding deeper meanings that aren't _there_?"

"I haven't said a word."

"But I can _feel_ it! I can see it in the way you look at me. The way you took my hand today, the way you felt _so good_ in my arms. The way you—"

"I made myself feel good in your arms?"

He stopped mid-sentence, mouth open. "What?"

"You said I felt so good in your arms."

"No, I didn't."

"Yes, you did."

He ran his fingers along his chin. "You're fucking lying."

She took a step closer. "No, I'm not, Randy."

He tried to move away, stumbled, fell onto the ground. "You're doing it! You're fucking with my mind!"

"It's how we built this relationship, Randy."

"There _is_ no relationship!"

Lily crouched down, eyes slightly wet. "Whether you accept it or not, there's more here than just fucking in the backseat of your car."

He shook his head. "There can't be."

"And there won't be." She stood up. "Because I have to go home tomorrow."

He nodded, eyes clear as he stared up at her, the sun hitting his face.

"So for now?" She shrugged and tugged her shirt off. "I'm going swimming."

Randy sat, speechless, and let his eyes roam as Lily shed the rest of her clothes and jumped into the water. She came up like a mermaid, whipping her hair back, eyes twinkling like the pond.

She laughed, but her eyes cried. "Come in, the water's nice."

He straightened and, without a word, took his shirt off. "There you go again," he said, placing his jeans beside his other clothes. "Fucking weaseling your way into my life."

"Since day one, Randy..." She met him once he got in, putting her wet hands on his dry shoulders. "It's been the other way around."

His fingers swam under the water, touching her waist. "Oh, really."

"And I've stupidly let you."

Randy was silent at first, just bent his head into her wet neck, eyes closed. "Do you regret it?" he asked into her skin.

Lily gently touched the back of his head. "No. Do you?"

"I'm not gonna answer that."

She laughed slightly. "Why?"

"Because you won't like my answer."

**A/N: It got really warm in here when I wrote Randy stripping. I'm just sayin'. But this is coming to a close. Maybe four more chapters, possibly five. If I pick a certain ending, however, it'll have a sequel. Wahoo. Review. (And I mean it!)  
**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Whatever ending I choose, I'm posting B-sides. Don't worry. Whichever ending you wanted, even if it's the one I didn't pick, will still be available to you. As long as you keep reviewing this wonderful story. (And by the way, reviews were **_**awesome**_** last time. Let's try to beat that, shall we?)**

Lily knew this day would come. The familiar tug of dread in her heart was already pounding against her ribcage before she even opened her eyes. If only she could just skip the next couple of hours, fast forward to her cold, empty house so she didn't have to deal with the hardest part of this whole ordeal.

She felt knuckles against her skin.

"My mom used to say something about crying in your sleep..."

Lily licked her lips. "What?"

"I can't remember," he said quietly.

She laughed in spite of herself. Her eyes opened. "You're an asshole."

His face was right near hers, looking down, then farther, lashes dropping against his cheeks. "You ready to leave?"

Lily laughed to hide the lump in her throat. "What kind of stupid question is that?"

His gaze lifted, and the light outside changed with it, the sun hitting the blue just at the right angle to make it translucent. "Just something to waste time."

She couldn't breathe for a split second, but then she smiled. "No, I'm not ready to leave."

He sighed, and closed his eyes, resting his face against her collarbone. "I have to do this."

"I know," she choked.

A cloud rolled over the sun, abrupt darkness snapping over the car. The wind whistled through the cracks, shook the windows.

Randy rolled over and sat up, head against his bent knees.

"You're not crying, are you?"

"What kind of stupid question is that?" he snapped, but his voice was thick.

She moved, went to touch his back, but the car jumped, and he shifted away before she could. Her hand dropped. "I don't have to leave, you know."

"Yes, you do." He shook his head but wouldn't look at her. "I won't let you get hurt."

"Randy—"

"You don't understand." He turned his neck, eyes red but still so beautiful. "If you stay out here any longer, I'm going to _kill you_."

Lily felt her stomach dropped, and Randy's mouth scrunched from the look on her face.

"Yeah, doesn't feel so good, does it?" He sniffed loudly, facing forward. "I feel that way every fucking day. Every fucking time I look at you. Every fucking time you smile at me, I know, deep down in my fucking gut, that someday, I'm going to kill you."

"Randy—"

"That's why you need to go." He swiveled around, hugging his knees. "I need you gone so you don't end up dead."

Lily reached forward to touch his hand. "What's going to happen when you come back? Are you just going to want to kill me?"

He glanced up at her quickly, but like a stubborn child, his gaze fell away from her again. "No. If I'm away from you, if I just... stay by myself and learn how to _control this_..."

"Then what?"

"Then I'll be able to come back."

She could feel her own eyes burning now. "And how do I know you'll really come back? How do I know this isn't another up-the-sleeve Randy trick you're trying to pull on me? How do I _know_ you'll be back someday?"

He let out a shaky sigh, twisting at his fingers. "Promise me something."

"What?"

"And you need to do it. You need to keep your promise. Otherwise, I'll have no reason to come back."

"Randy." She moved closer, touched his shoulder when he said nothing. "Whatever you need, I'll give it to you."

"Fine." He took a deep breath and looked up at her. "Marry me."

* * *

There was a storm over the town below them.

Lily watched the clouds form and build into darkness. Lightning bolted between the cotton puffs and sheets of rain poured over the tiny houses and streets. Everything down there was still, a complete ghost town.

She picked up a rock next to her and tossed it over the ledge. She'd always been afraid of heights, but surprisingly, she could sit on the edge of that cliff, watch the hills roll below her.

The area was quiet, a low rumble of quiet thunder every once in a while.

The twigs snapped and branches moved.

"We need to leave," Randy said quietly, after he'd stepped into the clearing.

Lily didn't answer him, just watched the storm move.

"Get up. We're leaving."

She finally gave him a sideways glance, but looked away again when she saw him staring at her.

"I said _get up_."

"I'm not moving."

"Fine, stay here." He turned, hesitated. "For fuck's sake. _Get up_!"

She looked at him calmly. "I'm not leaving, Randy."

"You got a lot of fucking nerve." He stalked over to her, grabbed her arm. "Get your fucking ass up. We're leaving. _Now_."

She ripped away. "Don't touch me!"

"Oh, I can't touch you now?" He crouched beside her, face near her cheek. "Huh? I can't touch you anymore?"

She didn't say a word.

"I thought you _liked it_ when I touched you." His finger ran down her neck. "Remember? Remember when you used to _tell me_ to touch you? Huh? Remember that, _Lily_?"

"Back up or I'll push you off."

He laughed, looked away, pressed his face closer. "_Push me_," he hissed.

She bit her lip and wouldn't look at him.

"Why am I not surprised? You never do anything you say you're going to do."

Her red eyes snapped at him. "Don't you dare."

"You don't even have a _right_ to be mad." He shook his head. "If anyone should go... oh, _careening_ over this ledge, it should be _you_."

She tried not to cry, swallowing hard as she stared at the trees.

"So _get up_." His hand grabbed the side of her head, fingers digging into her scalp. "Or I'll throw you off myself."

He straightened and started for the forest.

But she got up quickly. "Then do it."

He stopped. Didn't turn. "_What_?"

"Do it. Throw me off."

He didn't say a word.

"Come on, asshole, let's see who does what he says." She came closer, pushed his back. "Do it. Throw me off!"

He whipped around. "_Don't_ tempt me."

"I'm not tempting you, I'm _telling you_." She pushed his chest this time. "_Throw me off_!"

"Don't push me," he gritted.

"Come on, _Randy_." She moved in closer. "You're always true to your word. Do it."

"Don't twist that around on me," he hissed. "Don't twist around _my_ words. _I'm_ not the one who promised to do something she wouldn't do. _I'm _not the one who practically _begged me_ to fuck her, practically _begged me _to love her, and then turned around and said _no_."

She could tell she caught him off guard. He would've blocked the slap, but instead his neck turned with it, the sound resonating off the trees.

Her heart fell the minute she did it.

He blinked a few times, eerily calm, then his head snapped back into place.

She took a step back.

And his brows shot up, mouth open slightly.

"Don't do it," she said quietly.

His boot crunched against the dirt. "Do what?"

"Don't hurt me. You don't want to."

"I don't?"

She moved back, tripped slightly. "No. Randy, you're angry."

"Am I?" His tongue ran from top lip to bottom, paused into the corner of his mouth. "I don't feel angry. I feel completely calm."

"Randy, you have to control it."

"Why?"

"Because you won't be able to come back if you don't."

"Why do I need to come back?" Another step. Foot over foot. "I don't have anything to come back to. _Remember_?"

"Holly."

"Holly has grandparents." His hand shot out, snapped out, quick as a snake. Just teasing. "Holly won't even remember _daddy_."

"Randy, please." She hit a rock, almost fell over the edge. She looked down and every fear, every phobia came rolling back. "Randy."

This time he got her, fingers against her jugular. "Want me to throw you over?"

"Randy—"

"I will." His eyes were dark, his head nodding. "I will. I _will_."

"Randy, I love you."

"Not gonna work, _sweetheart_."

"Randy, _please_."

"Please what?" He pushed her back, the heels of her feet over the ledge. "Push you over? Throw you over?"

"Randy." Her hands touched his forearm. "Randy, stop."

His eyes snapped closed, then open, shaking painfully. His fingers tightened, then loosened. He grunted, bit his lip, and he almost choked her, but his fingers slid away and let her go.

She fell to her knees, her hands already covering her face.

He looked at the ground, then away, breathing heavily. "Doc."

She didn't answer.

"_Doc_."

Her eyes lifted. "What, Randy?"

His fists were clenching, teeth bared. "Doc. _Doc_."

"_What, Randy_?"

He hissed, opening his eyes. "Kiss me."

Her fingers dropped. "_What_?"

"Kiss me," he gritted, and shut his eyes again.

She scrambled to her feet, and grabbed his shoulders, pressing her lips to his roughly.

"_No_!" he barked, throwing her against cliff next to them. "Don't kiss me like that."

Her back ached, her head might've been bleeding, but she straightened. "Like what?"

"No." His hands tensed, almost like he was already choking her. "No. _Fuck_."

"Randy, come here."

"I can't."

"Randy, please."

"_I'll kill you_!" he bellowed. He still hadn't opened his eyes.

Lily blinked, then went toward him, limping slightly. His arms were shaking, muscles tight, but when she touched them, they jumped, then relaxed, just a little.

"Randy," she whispered.

"Kiss me."

And she did, softly, sweetly. She could feel him breaking down. His hands found her back, his arms relaxed.

"_Fuck_!" he yelled and pushed her away, stalking toward the cliff. "I can't do it. _I can't do it_."

When she covered her face, she felt the tears already on her cheeks. "Can't do what, Randy?"

"I can't control it. I _can't control it_. No matter how hard I try, no matter how fucking _hard _I try, I _can't fucking do it_!"

She lifted her watery gaze and watched him dig his fingers into the rocks, breaking pieces off.

"I can't do it." He pressed his face to his forearm. "I can't do it."

She moved a little closer and he shot away, eyes almost worried. "Randy."

"_What_?"

But she was smiling. "Don't you see?"

"See _what_?"

She touched the rocks, where his fingers were. "You already did."

"Stop talking in fucking pieces! Did _what_?"

"You already stopped yourself."

"No, I didn't! I practically killed you!"

"You could've thrown me over."

"_So_?"

"And you _didn't_."

He blinked a couple of times, blue eyes shaky. "I've almost killed you before."

"But every time you tried, something stopped you." She moved closer and he didn't shy away. "You did it yourself this time."

His mouth tightened. "I hate you."

"I _love _you."

"Then why won't you _marry me_?"

"Because you weren't going to come back." Lily touched his face, smiling. "You weren't going to come back."

"Yes, I—"

"You never would've felt like you were safe enough to come back."

He looked down, lashes touching his cheeks.

She let go off his face and pressed her forehead to his chest. "Yes."

He tensed. "Yes, what?"

"Yes."

And even though her eyes were closed, she knew he was smiling.

**A/N: Wow. That was a pile of romantic bullshit. Only… two to three chapters left. Seriously. Review. Or Randy will kill you.**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Hey, this is like… the... third to last chapter. I think. Maybe fourth. And it's pretty long, too. But I'll probably keep writing filler chapters because I don't want this baby to end. Keep the reviews coming. Let's see if we can hit 300 before this story ends. 400 if we really try. I'll do something nice if we do.**

"This is a bad idea."

"Just shut up and sit down."

"Randy, we can't—"

"Don't call me that." He slid across from her, keeping his sunglasses on. "Call me... I don't know. Keith. Call me Keith."

"_Keith_?"

"It's my middle name."

"...It _is_?"

"You have a problem with that?"

She shook her head. "You just... don't _look _like a Keith."

"I don't. That's why my _middle_ name is Keith."

Lily frowned and crossed her arms on the cold table. "Tell me why we're doing this again?"

"Because humans need to eat." Randy looked over his shoulder, checking out the place. He put his sunglasses on the table. "There's three people in here. This isn't dangerous."

"You don't know it's not dangerous. There's gotta be warrants out for you, and—"

"In Missouri. We're in Colorado."

"But, Randy—"

"_Darling_." Randy gritted his teeth. "I don't mean to sound like an asshole, but... _shut up_."

Lily rolled her eyes and looked out the window.

Randy watched her for a second, expression completely emotionless. "Hey."

She glanced at him. "What, _Keith_?"

His eyes narrowed for a moment before he leaned forward. "I'm not taking you home today."

She smiled tiredly. "How many times are you going to say that?"

"I have something else planned. I just need to figure it out."

"Just make sure it doesn't involve being in public."

He raised a brow. "Believe me. We'd get arrested if we did it in public."

She just gave him that completely... _woman_ look. And shook her head. "You really need to stop."

"Hey. I'm going to be gone for how many months?"

She glanced down, tracing her fingers against the patterns on the table. "I don't know. You tell me."

"I'm coming back."

"You keep saying that."

"Because it's _true_." Randy straightened when the waitress came over, smiling slightly when she just dropped two cups of coffee on the table before bustling away.

Lily sighed and pulled a mug over. "I haven't had coffee in..."

"Who knows how long." Randy yawned. "They didn't let us have any at the... _institution_."

Lily slapped his hand. "Don't say that too loud!"

Randy felt the vein in his neck jump. He swallowed hard to keep it from throbbing.

She looked up at his face. "Did that make you mad?"

"Yeah, but I'm fine," he grunted. He slid his arm in stiffly, leaning on it.

Her eyes were unreadable. "You're handling it pretty well."

He smiled slightly.

Her hand went out, fingers stretched, until they touched his cold skin. "Is that okay?"

He nodded.

She gripped his fingers tighter. "Better?"

His jaw loosened a bit. "Yeah."

"That's good." She smiled at him. "I love you, Keith."

He laughed and slid back, rolling his eyes. "Shut up."

"What? I'm doing what you told me to!"

"No, you're not, you're mocking my name."

"It's not _your_ name, it's your _middle_ name."

"Whatever, lady."

"Don't get all angsty!" She leaned toward him. "How about this—let's change the subject. What are you planning?"

"I'm not planning anything."

"Yes, you are. You said you have something planned."

"I never plan anything." He smiled sickly. "That's kind of how this whole thing started."

She waved it away. "Never mind that. What are we doing today?"

"I _told_ you what we're doing."

"Besides that."

"_Besides that_?"

"That's boring. I want you to—"

He held up a hand. "Wait a fucking second."

"_What_?"

He stared at her for a minute or two, eyes widening. "_Boring_?"

She rolled her eyes. "That's not what I meant—"

"Boring. It's _boring_."

"I didn't _say_—"

"So it's boring when I breathe against your neck?"

"Ran—"

"When I run my hands up and down your nice, _long _legs?"

Lily's face slowly deepened. "Randy—"

"Is it boring when I pull your hair?"

She covered her face.

"Or..." He ran his tongue along his bottom lip, quirking his eyebrows. "_Bite_ that spot right below your ear? The spot that makes you—"

"What do you guys want?"

Lily looked up at the waitress, exasperated. "I'm not coming—I mean hungry. Oh, my God."

Randy's grin slid across his face slowly.

The woman turned to him. "How about you?"

"Ham and cheese omelet." Randy cast a worried look toward Lily. "Sweetheart, are you _sure_ you don't want to eat anything? Ham? Bacon? _Sausage_?"

Lily wrinkled her nose at him, eyes narrowed.

Randy shrugged. "Guess she's not hungry. For food anyway."

The waitress rolled her eyes, snapping the menu out of his hand. "Newlyweds."

Randy nodded, smiling. "Almost."

* * *

He was holding her hand. He never did that.

"This is... This is what we're doing?"

"Yeah." He shrugged, face still pointed upwards. "I saw it when we rolled into town."

"But... We don't have anything."

"We have money."

"And what are we going to do? Just stand there in the clothes we've slept in for the past _two weeks_?"

"Hey, I brought extra shit. My clothes are clean."

"Well, I'm sorry, you practically _dragged_ _me out_—"

He bent his head and kissed her briefly. His eyes opened. "All we're doing is making a promise. Simple as that."

She wobbled slightly, looking up into his face. "A ring. We don't have any rings."

Randy pursed his lips. "Hm. That's a bit of a problem."

"We can't do this without rings."

"You're right." Randy went to the car and opened the passenger door, leaning into it to search for something. Lily's eyes traveled down toward his jeans, but her eyes snapped up once he straightened and turned around. "Which is why I got these."

Lily went to grab them, but he held them high. She frowned. "Why can't I see them?"

"Because they're special." He put his hand on her neck and led her toward the door. "Now, come on, before anyone recognizes me."

"But, Randy—"

"Don't make me swear in a church, Doc." He opened the door and just about shoved her in. "Watch your step, babe."

"You're an ass—"

He put a finger to her lips. "Repent your sins."

"I hate you."

"That's too bad." Randy peered into the small office next to them. "Where is he?"

"Someone's _waiting_ for us?"

"I _told_ you. I had this figured out already."

"I thought you never planned anything."

"I didn't plan this, it was all by chance." Randy pulled her into the actual church itself, glancing around. "But we seem to be the only people here."

"You're never alone when you're in a house of God, son."

Randy whipped around and nearly slammed Lily into the wall. "Jesus, you scared me."

The little old man frowned at Randy.

Randy cleared his throat. "Oh. I mean... Hi. I called you earlier."

He kept frowning, shaking his head.

"Randy. I wanted to get hitched."

"Ah, yes. The _quick and painless_ fellow."

Lily glared up at Randy, who just smiled. "Yeah, that's me," he said. "And this is my... fiancée. Lily."

He nodded. "A beautiful name for a beautiful girl."

Lily grinned. "Thank you."

Randy's hand touched her back. "Uh, if we could... get this started—"

"Oh, of course! If you'd like, Lily, we have extra bouquets in the office for these types of occasions."

"What, weddings?"

He actually laughed. "Yes, for very _quick_ weddings."

Lily nodded and smiled up at Randy. "Okay. I'll be right back."

He nudged her. "Don't take too long. I might not be here when you come out."

Lily looked at him somberly, but he was already turning, talking with the minister.

* * *

Randy's heart caught in his throat.

And for _once_, it wasn't because he wanted to kill someone.

Lily pushed at the veil she was wearing, grinning. "They had one back there. Seems a little silly with my outfit but..."

"Nah, it makes it... more real."

Lily smiled slightly. "I like your boutonnière."

"Don't say dirty things in church."

"_Randy_."

He smiled, plucking at the flower pitifully pinned to his shirt. "He said it'd make me a little more... _dressed_ for the occasion."

Lily let out a little breath. "You ready?"

He held out his hand. "I've been ready."

"So this is for real."

He nodded.

"Well." She pushed her hair back slightly. "Let's get this thing started, then."

* * *

"You may exchange vows at this time, if you have prepared some."

Lily smiled politely and shook her head, but Randy's hands tightened around hers and she looked at him, brow almost furrowed.

"I, uh..." He scratched at the back of his head, grabbing her fingers again. "Well. I had something elaborate written down, something that I _knew_ would make you cry, but I can't remember it right now so I guess that's out."

Lily laughed slightly.

"But... I remember starting it off with having a fresh start. Wiping the slate clean, if you will. And when I think about that now, I just... don't understand why I'd want to start over."

Lily glanced at the minister, who seemed to be watching Randy very intently.

"We wouldn't be here at this very moment if nothing had happened. If we hadn't made... If _I _hadn't made some stupid mistakes, I might've never even met you. And it's so funny because... like I told you before. You did fine without me before we met. And I always believed things could just _rewind_ like that. Like you could be the same person you were before. But I think about my life _now_, and I just... can't picture it without you."

The tears were coming. She could feel them.

"And I've never really said this to you, out loud. I've showed it to you. A lot." He smirked just slightly, but the priest cleared his throat. "Uh, but... But I've never really told you I love you. And I do." He nodded. "I love you, Lily."

She pouted her lip slightly. "I love you, too."

"Remember how I told you... You just know?"

She frowned.

"We were looking at the stars. And you asked me what it was like to love someone with my whole heart."

"Oh. Yeah."

"Well. You just know." He pulled her a little closer. "You just know."

Lily let go of one of his hands to wipe at her face. "Randy—"

"And you know what? You won't know what tomorrow will bring. You don't know where we'll be, if we'll be together. You don't know if I'm even going to come back."

The minister sighed. "Military?"

Randy grinned at him. "Not exactly."

Lily just rolled her eyes.

But Randy reached into his pocket, looking at the old man again. "Mind if we do the ring thing now?"

"Well—"

"Because I want to do this." He pulled the box out of the tiny bag it was in, looking around weakly before he shoved it into the minister's hands. "Hold on to that, will you?"

"Randy—"

"There's a string between these rings." Randy took out the smaller, silver one and slid it onto her finger. He handed her the bigger one. "It'll stretch for miles and miles. It'll go overseas, down into the ocean, up to the sky. And it'll never break."

Lily slid the ring onto his finger.

He half-smiled at her. "And even though you can't feel it, even though you can't see it... it's there."

Lily felt more tears falling.

Randy nodded. "You just know."

She only could cover her mouth before the sob escaped.

Randy wiped her tears away, turning to the minister. "Can we do this kiss the bride thing?"

The minister nodded. "You may now kiss—"

But Randy was already there, holding her tightly, kissing her mouth, her nose, her cheeks, her temples. And finally her ear. "I got the rings the day we met," he whispered.

Lily snorted, burying her face into his neck. "You did not."

"I did, too."

She smiled against his skin and shook her head. "Why would you ever do that?"

Randy shrugged and kissed her hair. "I just knew."

**A/N: There. One happy chapter before the shit hits the fan. And maybe, just **_**maybe**_**, if you guys are good, and review, I'll post a b-side at the end, that has a certain **_**honeymoon**__**scene **_**in it. But only if you guys are good. Review.**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: I really want to fucking apologize, because I haven't updated this story in like... a month. Honestly. And I feel bad, because I really love this story, I just... haven't really chosen what I want to happen yet, and what I choose goes down in this chapter, so I have to make a quick decision. Basically, I'm just gonna let my fingers take me where it's supposed to go.**

**Quick shout out by the way, to the anonymous review named Sam: your review made me feel so fucking good, I can't even begin to explain. You truly made me feel like my work _means_ something, and I seriously thank you for that. So this chapter is dedicated to you. :-)**

Lily woke up when the sun hit her eyes. At first she didn't recognize her surroundings—until she felt Randy shift beside her. And then she smiled, stretching languidly. They had driven as far as they could yesterday before they pulled off at some remote motel in the middle of nowhere.

Lily didn't think it was smart to stay there. Randy said he wasn't going to spend his _second_ honeymoon in a car.

She looked around, squinting in the light. It was definitely early in the morning—that quiet time, when traffic was low and all you could hear was the stuffy silence filling the room.

The side of Randy's face was illuminated, lashes against his pink cheeks. He breathed through his nose softly, neck tendons tightening, head twisted against her hair.

It was hard not to touch his five o'clock shadow, to trace the shape of his jawline.

His lashes lifted, eyes blue, then crystal. "What are you doing?" he asked groggily.

"Just... taking a mental picture."

His lids were dropping, but she caught his eyes roll. He shifted a little, pulling her tighter against him. "Shut it."

"I wasn't talking."

"You're acting like I'm dying."

"I—"

"Just take it for what it's worth, all right?" He glanced at her, fixing his head more comfortably against the pillow. His eyes were barely open. "Don't think about later, just take right now and make it everything."

She didn't want to blink.

He lifted his hand and pushed her hair back, not looking at her face.

She stopped him. "Can I tell you something?"

"Sure, Doc."

She looked away. "Uh... Well..."

"Can I tell _you_ something?"

She nodded.

His fingers came up, guiding her eyes to his. "Look at me when you talk."

She swallowed hard. "I'm afraid you're going to let me down."

He just blinked for a moment, face stoic, lips set. The sun still hadn't gone away, his eyes were still bright, dark blue streaked with lightning.

His mouth quirked. "I could."

Her gaze shot up, searching quickly. "Wh—"

He put his finger against her lips. "Shut it. Don't even start."

"But, Randy—"

He kissed her briefly. "Don't."

"You can't _leave me_. You can't _leave_ and then never come back. _You can't_!"

His hold was tight, her face pressed against his bare chest. Her head started pounding, the room was going dim, but she just wanted to feel him, to feel his body rumble as he shushed her.

"Take this moment and make it everything," he whispered.

"Why do you keep _saying_ that?"

"Because when I _am _gone, you'll want something to think about." He pushed her back, ran his fingers down her face. "You'll want to remember the way my hand feels, the way my voice sounds."

She leaned down and kissed him. "You taste good."

"You'll want to remember the way I taste."

She looked at him, his face shadowed by her body, eyes dark again. "I want to remember you, but I want you to come back, too."

"I will. Didn't I tell you I will?"

"But you said—"

"I can never say, one hundred percent, that I'll come back and we'll have a normal life. But I _will come back_."

"Randy—"

"Shut it. Will you just listen to me?"

"_What_? What do you want me to hear?"

His fingers were around her neck, pulling her face toward him. He stopped just a breath away, eyes down. "I love you. You fucking know that."

"I do."

"Then just trust me." He looked at her. "Trust me, and make this _worth it_."

She still couldn't look at him, her nails trailing across his collarbone.

He snorted, eyes rolling. "Come here."

She shrunk away when he loudly gnawed at her neck, practically enveloping her in his big arms. They were a mess of sheets, all tangled up in each other.

He settled against the pillows, just holding her so she couldn't look away.

"I'm coming back," he said softly.

"You keep saying that."

"Because it's _true_." He jostled her a little. "You're the idiot who keeps trying to make problems for yourself."

"_Hey__—_"

He kissed her. "Shut up."

"You can't just—"

He kissed her again. "I can do this all day, Doc, believe me. But we need to get going."

She frowned. "Already?"

"Doc, I put it off as long as I could. I gotta get you home."

But she just pressed her forehead against his own. "Take this moment and make it everything."

He nodded. "Right."

She glanced down, fingers trailing. "Then we're not leaving just yet."

Randy grinned and settled against the pillows, eyes practically rolling back when she followed her hand. "Doc, you drive a hard—_fuck__—_bargain."

* * *

It was late evening when they finally started seeing familiar places—the stores, the houses, the streets. And before they knew it, they were riding in silence up to her home, the eerily road lights passing over the car every few seconds.

"What if I said I wanted to go with you."

"I'm not changing my mind, Doc. You're staying here."

"But—"

"Don't fight with me on this. I'm not taking you with me."

Her ring glimmered yellow before it was dark again. "It just feels wrong, Randy."

"I don't like that you're _in this car _right now." He turned without signaling, glancing sideways at the person walking down the sidewalk. "I just want to know that you're safe in your house and then I'm gonna split."

"Will you at least stay the night with me?"

He almost laughed. "I don't know what to say to get it through your thick _skull_. I want you to be _safe_. Me staying over is just _asking _for it."

"I'm sorry I can't just _up and leave_ as easily as you can—"

"_Oh, _okay. Right." He was nodding. "Of course. The heartless killer, right? Fucks the broad then leaves without a trace. You got my story all _figured out_, Doc."

"Are we honestly fighting during the last _minutes _we have with each other?"

Randy shrugged, falling back into silence as he drove. Eyes straight ahead. He turned on the air conditioner. "You started it."

"Randy!"

"What? You _did_."

And then they were in her driveway.

The last of the moment slipped away as they stared up at the looming house, lights off, her car parked in front of them.

Randy shut off his own and started to get out.

She grabbed his arm.

He halted, then sighed, slamming his door tightly. He slid his eyes over to her.

She waited a beat. "Say you love me."

He scoffed, rolling his eyes, looking away. "Don't tell me what to do."

"Tell me you love me."

His head twisted back to her, mouth half-grimacing. "You're taking the punch out of it, Doc."

"_Randy_."

He blinked for a moment, slowly, face completely stone. "I love you," he said quietly.

Her hand made its way down to his own, fingers curling. "Now kiss me."

"_Jesus_, Doc, let me do something on my own!"

She just waited, cocking her head when he looked away, rubbing his free fingers against his lips.

And then he turned back, pressing his mouth to hers firmly, eyes closed, jaw tight.

She smiled slightly when he pulled back. "Thank you."

"Make me a fuckin' puppet," he grumbled, pushing open his door.

She rolled her eyes and got out, meeting him at the end of the walkway. "I didn't say you had to wait for me."

"Doing something on my own, _what a shock_." He grabbed her hand tightly, possessively, fingers not laced but wrapped around her own.

Walking the plank.

They hit the door mat and she grabbed the handle.

"Wait."

She looked up at him, eyes closing as he kissed her again, a little more force behind it. A little more bite.

He was holding her face, kissing her nose, lips against her temple. "I love you."

She let out a long breath, lifting her lashes. "That was better than before."

"Yeah, because I fucking did it on my own." He took her hand again, opening the door himself. He looked back at her, smiling as he headed into black. "I told you, Doc, you take the—"

The blow to his head came before Lily could even scream.

There were handcuffs suddenly, on her, their hands getting torn apart, Randy getting thrown against the wall, arms already behind his back.

"_You have the right to remain silent.._."

He was letting them do it. He was _letting them cuff him_.

Slow motion.

Take this moment and make it everything.

Lily finally let that scream out.

"No, no, not _her._"

The back of Randy's head was bleeding.

"_Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law..."_

Jim was smiling, arms crossed, sitting on the staircase.

"This is the victim?" the officer asked Jim.

He nodded, standing up, eyes on her. "I knew you guys would come back."

The cuffs were off her and her head was whipping around, searching for Randy. Everywhere she turned he wasn't there.

Out the door, arms behind his back.

Head down.

"_No_!"

Jim had her wrist before she hit the threshold, tight and bruising. "You're lucky he didn't _kill _you."

There was back up already, police cruisers screeching, spinning around, tearing up her lawn.

Her eyes on Jim's face.

Randy. They were opening the door to the closest car, pushing his head in.

Jim shook her. "You're lucky to be _alive_."

The fire in her stomach, mouth open to breathe out the smoke.

She punched him straight across the jaw.

He let go, stumbling back.

A door slammed.

Lily tore out to the front yard, but everything was already swirling.

_Red, blue. Red, blue_.

The car pulled away, and it was too dark to see his eyes.

It was too dark to see anything.

**A/N: Fuck _me_, that was angsty. The end!! ….Just kidding. Or maybe I'm not. Get the reviews to four hundred and we'll talk. ;-) Review, please, or Randy's going to rot in jail forever.**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: So, about that meaning 300 instead of 400... but whatever! I am leaving for Wrestlemania today. I hate flying, so I wanted to update this before I left! Also, this is the last chapter. But there's gonna be an epilogue, don't you guys worry. **

It all happened so fast, so it couldn't be a nightmare. Nightmares were slow, dark corners, hands reaching out to grab you. There were no jagged edges.

It was almost like a dream. Bright saturation, things coming out sideways, moving without meaning to, the constant fear of falling. Hazy corners.

"_How does the defendant plea?"_

"_Guilty with reason of insanity."_

She was in the back, eyes shadowed by sunglasses, a big hat. She didn't want to be noticed but everyone was looking at her anyway, the widow at her husband's funeral.

He turned his head slightly, caught her out of the corner of his eye.

She'd been asked to testify.

He looked all the way back, at her. Emotionless. A robot in a pressed white shirt.

She'd said no.

He faced forward again.

Strangers with an inside joke.

They were both smiling.

* * *

_As of right now, reports are saying that WWE Superstar, Randy Orton's court case has determined he is guilty of third degree kidnapping. His sentence is up to six years in the St. Louis Mental Facility for rehabilitation as well as psychiatric evaluation. Details to follow._

A kidnapper. That's all he was.

He murdered four people.

But you can do anything when you're crazy.

Insanity beats rock.

* * *

"_Kidnapping_!" Jim beat his fist against the wall. "How much did he pay them?"

A dream. A scene in black and white, shaky camera angles, catching the light coming in from the window instead of the emotion on his face.

"I can't _believe this_! He got away with everything!" He smacked the paper against the table, once, twice, three times, and then he threw it, spilling coffee. Randy's face soaked up most of the liquid, head down, pushed through the crowd. "_He got away with murder_!"

He got away with murder.

He taught her everything she knew.

* * *

It started off simple.

Pages torn from old library books, just the scrap in the corner. It had been weeks, maybe months since she last saw him, last heard from him. And then one day... One day she opened the mailbox and there it was, in the rain and the gloom, sitting on top of the neatly stacked envelopes.

She opened the tiny note and smiled.

_Together we can rule the world._

_

* * *

_

She figured she should dress up for the occasion. She remembered the way Randy was dressed, jeans and that tight shirt, she wanted him so badly, even then, when Jim still loved her.

Her shoes were noisy against the solid tile floors. The lights were brighter than her office, more like a hospital, with patients staring up at her as she walked the plank.

She needed to be escorted.

She felt like her hands were tied together.

Turns out they were.

* * *

"_I can't believe you!" He was a whirlwind, spinning around her, tearing things from the bookcases, from the walls. They were everywhere, the tiny scraps, floating like leaves in the air. He was grabbing at them, reading the little notes, eyes blazing with something she couldn't quite see._

_She stood, stoic, and just stared at the wall._

"_Do you want to get yourself killed? Do you?" And then he was in front of her, shaking her, and that blaze in his eyes was the bits of love he was trying to hold onto. "Answer me, Lily!"_

_She averted her gaze, stared up at the picture of them on the wall. It was crooked._

_She was still wearing her wedding ring._

_

* * *

_

"Are you comfortable, Lily?"

She was more graceful than Randy, more personable. Her legs crossed, elbows resting lightly on the arms of the chair.

But she didn't say a word.

She only smiled, the red of her lips pulling.

The crazy femme fatale.

* * *

"_You fucked him, didn't you?" _

_Her eyes didn't stray, didn't twitch. She was the wall he was looking through, laughter dancing. _

_He shook her. "How many times?"_

_A scrap fell from his hands, landed on her feet._

_Poison._

_He slapped her. "Goddamn it, Lily, why!"_

_Because it didn't take long._

_Because it was quick and painless._

_Just like that._

_

* * *

_

"Do you love him, Lily?"

Lily cocked her head slightly. Her eyes did all the talking.

The doctor looked down at her notes. "Randy. Did you love him?"

First it was the present.

Then it was the past.

She should've asked if she was _going _to love him.

All the answers would've been the same.

* * *

_It was time to send something back._

_She'd started waiting by the mailbox, hoping to catch him. But no matter what time of day it was, she'd be standing alone, in the rain, in the cold, in the dark, in the sun. He never showed up until she left, until she closed her eyes for a second._

_She almost thought he wasn't real._

_She left him a scrap, from her favorite book. There was a haiku on the back._

_It was so easy. You taught me everything I know._

_In the morning it was gone._

_A pressed Lily was in its place._

_

* * *

_

Lily started to laugh. It was slow at first, deep in her chest, and then it bubbled, hit her throat, broke past her shut mouth. Her eyes weren't laughing with it, though, they were dark, eyes on the bright window behind the desk.

The therapist looked up. "Why are you laughing, Lily?"

It died pretty quick, as all things do. Her fingers tightened against the arm rest slightly. "Because it's so funny, really."

Same taste in the air.

"What's so funny?"

"What I did." She uncrossed her legs, leaned forward, hands clasped between her knees.

Same stance.

The therapist frowned. She was bad at her job. "And what did you do?"

The hairs stood up on the back of her neck.

Eyes lifted, caught the light behind the woman's head.

"I murdered my boyfriend."

Same famous last words.

**A/N: And things come full circle. Unless you guys consider an epilogue the actual last chapter, this is it. I could end it like this, but I figure Randy should be apart of it, although he tied everything together in this one. But alas, everyone wants a happy ending, so the epilogue will be the twisted romance everyone wants. Review, or I won't write it! :D**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: Wow, uh, it's been like, a month. More. Almost two? Shit, I'm sorry. I just can't figure out how to end this. Probably because I don't want to. **

**So you guys, like… know Lily went crazy, right? Not like Mad Hatter crazy but like… psycho Randy crazy. So… thus the change in voice in this chapter.**

There's just something about murder that makes a woman feel classy.

Lily could feel people turning their heads, glancing, judging as she walked up the steps toward the building that held her troubled, yet so incredibly handsome, _husband_. She knew _they knew_ she was his wife, and that Holly was his daughter, because that's all he raved about. How beautiful they were, how they were the only women he needed in his life.

Most of them didn't even believe she existed until she visited him.

She always made sure to come see him on cold, sunny days. They didn't get many of those, but the times they did, _those_ in particular were the ones she enjoyed the most. He was so warm when he hugged her, and it was never fully appreciated unless she was chilled to begin with.

He looked cold today, though. His cheeks were pink while he waited, glaring up at the sun, the blue of his eyes catching the transparent light bouncing off his squinted expression.

Holly was so young, gripping her jacket, hand half in her mouth.

"Look, Holly," Lily smiled when he glanced down, then up again, noticing her. "Look, it's Daddy. Can you say 'Hi, Daddy! You're almost free!'"

But Holly just pushed her face into her neck.

He stood, almost unfolded himself, looking so completely angelic in that white shirt they made him wear. He had dog tags around his neck. Holly noticed them when he bent down, the metal clanging together.

"You always pick the coldest damn days," he said lightly, and hugged both of them to his chest, his big hand coming up against Lily's head.

She leaned back, eyes to the sky, and he pulled her sunglasses down to smile. "And yet, you're always so warm," she whispered.

"Only when you're here." He took Holly, cradling her against his big arm, and she just about melted into him, rubbing her face against the fabric of his shirt. "She got big."

"Every day."

"Wanna sit down?"

Lily nodded, shivering slightly when a gust blew in, scattering leaves and the papers from the guy across from them. The guards were watching him when they walked in, but now their eyes were on the them, waiting for something to happen.

"How's therapy going?"

Lily looked over at him, but his gaze was on the baby. "Fine. My therapist is… very easy to work with."

"She say anything?"

"Not yet."

"She'll crack soon." He started jostling Holly, but she whimpered, beating her head against his collarbone. "Good thing she's—Holly, cut it out."

"She's been into head butting things lately."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah. Your mom said she almost knocked your dad's knee out of place."

Randy held Holly high, watching the sunlight hit her face, her curls. He pursed his lips. "Think she'll be a wrestler one day?"

"I have no doubt in my mind."

He put her on his knee, glancing up. "How are you feeling?"

Lily cocked a brow over her sunglasses. "Since when do you care about feelings?"

He couldn't help the dirty smile. "Since I knocked you up."

"You can't _knock up_ your wife."

"You weren't my wife then."

Lily looked away, trying to hide her smile. No matter how used to him she was, she still couldn't hold his gaze when he was being such a… _pervert_. "I'm doing fine."

"Good. My folks?"

"Have been wonderful. Spoiling Holly and myself."

"They should be." His lashes dropped when Holly's hand came out, grabbing for him. "What? What do _you_ want?"

She giggled and started to eat her fingers.

He looked back at her. "She hungry?"

"I don't think so." Lily went to take her sunglasses off, but the clouds moved, blasting her with sunlight again. "She ate before we left."

Randy ran both his hands over her hair, smoothing her curls back, watching them spring forward. "She talking yet?"

"Nothing major."

"What'd she say?"

"Orton."

He laughed slightly. "Yeah?"

"Only when you're on TV."

"She's calling Daddy by his last name now?"

"She knows she can get away with anything."

"Even murder."

Lily glanced up at him through her lashes, him looking down through his. They both smiled. "Like father, like daughter."

"Like mother, like daughter."

"You've corrupted us all."

"It's a gift."

Lily held her palm out, and Holly touched her, glancing at her curiously. "She looks so much like you. It hurts sometimes."

He was watching her, she could see it out of the corner of her eye. "Hey."

"What?"

"Look at me."

Lily pushed her sunglasses up. "No."

"What'd I tell you?"

"Randy—"

"_Look at me_."

She sighed, trying to hide the shake in it. "_What_?"

"I'm coming home soon."

"I know."

"Really soon."

"I _know_."

"Then quit the sappy bullshit and act normal."

"I can't help it, my hormones are raging."

"Don't blame my son. You're crying because you're a goddamn chick."

"Don't swear in front of Holly, and shut up."

He smiled. "Give me a kiss, toots."

"No, my tears might get on you."

"So fucking what."

"I _told you_ not to—"

His hand came up, at the back of her head, pulling her lips hard against his mouth. He was laughing when she tried to move away, smacking stolen kisses.

"You're a jerk," she grumbled.

"You're useless against my power."

There was a guard, at the edge of the table, face solemn. "Time's up, miss."

Randy sighed. "Five more minutes, man?"

"Time's up."

Lily smiled flirtatious. "But couldn't you just—"

"Time's _up_."

Lily turned her nose up at him, rummaging through her purse. "At least let a girl put on her lipstick before she leaves."

The guard just about rolled his eyes. "If you must."

Randy stood up and pushed his lips against hers once more. "So I don't get that nasty shit all over my mouth."

"It already is." Lily puckered her lips and blew herself a kiss, snapping her mirror shut. She held her hand out to the guard. "If you don't mind."

He helped her up, and she fixed her dress, pushing her hair back before she took the baby from Randy.

He glanced at the guard. "Give us a sec, would you?"

"I can't—"

"At least take a step back. Unless you want in on this hug?"

He let out a sigh and moved away from them just slightly.

Randy put his arms around Lily's back, kissing Holly's head, then hers. "I love you. Both of you."

"We love you, too." She patted his face, pressing her cheek to his own. "We'll see you soon."

"Definitely." He winked when she pulled back, then turned to the guard, wrists out. "Do your worst."

Lily turned on her heel, walking toward the gate.

It wasn't proper for a daughter to watch her own daddy get handcuffed.

* * *

Rainy days were always fit for a life-changing phone call.

Lily had been at the desk in the den, the one pressed against the big bay window that looked out onto Randy's backyard. She could feel the wind sneaking through the cracks, shaking the frame, making the glass jingle, but she kept writing anyway.

She always wrote to Randy on Thursdays.

_The baby is doing fine, looking like you more and more every day. He has your blue eyes, even the light shining behind him. I can see he's going to grow up to be just like you, he's already got your mannerisms._

_Holly is—_

Lily looked up when the baby started to cry, and she turned her head quickly, frowning at the porcelain brunette sticking her chubby hand into the bassinet. "_Holly_."

She turned, the wobbly three year old she was, and fell onto her bottom, still not used to standing on her own two feet. "Sorry."

Lily stood. "No sorry. What did you do?"

She had a doll in her hand, the one Randy had gotten her, and she bashed it against the cold, hardwood floor. "I don't know."

"Holly Marie, I swear—" Lily held her hand up and turned, jerking a glass out of the liquor cabinet next to her. "I'm going to write to Daddy and tell him what a bad girl you've been lately. Do you want me to do that?"

Holly watched as Lily mixed her drink, sliding her hands down to grab at her bare feet.

Lily turned to find her cigarettes, but stopped, almost spilling her alcohol. "Holly Marie! Where are your socks?"

"I don't _know_."

"Don't use that tone with me, young lady, don't you even dare do that."

She gave her a wide, tiny-toothed grin, rocking.

Lily waved her hand. "Just go to your room for now. Leave Robby alone, he's sleeping, and he shouldn't be woken up."

"But, Mommy—"

"Holly Marie, I mean it. Now, go."

Holly frowned, but got to her feet. "Mommy?"

Lily had already lit a cigarette, blowing smoke straight into the ceiling. "What, darling?"

"Can I make drinks like you?"

Lily smiled, patting her curly brown hair when she waddled over to hug her leg. "When you're older. You can even make drinks for daddy."

"Who's making drinks for daddy?"

So much happened all at once. The rain picked up, thunder crashed, and Holly let out an ear-piercing scream, slapping her bare feet against the cold floor as she ran up and into her father's arms.

He was standing there.

_Standing there_.

Lily cracked her drink against the table, scotch all over the wood, and braced a hand to steady herself.

Randy smiled at her over the child's head. "I told you I'd be back."

"How… How are you here?"

Holly was upside in his arms by now, climbing all over him, trying just as desperately as Lily was to see if he was really _there_.

He looked puzzled. "What do you mean?"

"You had… you had another two years."

"And miss my newborn son?" Randy placed Holly on her feet, turning his head toward the bassinet on the other side of the couch. "Is he in there?"

"I…" Lily placed a hand to her heart. "Yeah. He is."

Randy went over there slowly, stepping over toys on the floor. Lily just watched him, watching every move he made, listening to the sound of his wet shoes, the sound of his wet clothes. The steady air he _breathed_.

Holly grabbed her leg again, and Lily touched the top of her head. "Mommy, does Daddy like Robby?"

Lily smiled back her tears. "I'm sure he does, Holly."

"As much as me?"

Randy was talking lowly, hands curved along the blue-laced edge of the basinet, head bent down to gaze at the little bundle with the mop of dark hair inside.

Lily shook her head. "As much, Holly, but never more."

He turned, teeth showing. He never smiled like that. "He looks just like you, are you kidding?"

"Just wait until he opens his eyes. Then you'll see what I'm talking about."

"I'm picking him up."

"Randy—"

"I'm picking _my son_ up."

Robby could fit in one of Randy's hands alone, but he picked him up with both, carefully, cradling him like an expert.

"Hold his head, Randy."

"I know what I'm doing." Randy settled him along the length of his forearm, palm behind his head, and he just lifted him, gazing, watching, waiting for the baby to open his eyes. "Come on, bud, I'm not gonna wait all day."

Lily bent to pick Holly up, but the phone rang, breaking the comfortable silence that had fallen over them. She patted her head. "If you're good, Daddy will let you sit next to him while he holds Robby. Go on."

Everything was perfect. All the hopes and dreams Lily had made Randy promise her were finally coming together. They were finally going to be the happy family Lily had been waiting for.

Lily tripped over the bag Randy left by the door, frowning down at the shirt sticking out of the unzipped top.

The phone kept ringing, but she picked it up, that blood-soaked shirt.

"Oh, dear." Lily ran her hand along the stain. The stain that set him free. "This is going to be _such a_ pain to get out."

And then she smiled and dropped it, heading for the receiver.

"Hello?"

There was a pause. "I'm sorry, Lily. I just couldn't do it anymore."

Lily smiled slightly. "Who is this?"

"My boss got it out of me. Just please, Lily. Don't tell your husband."

The line went dead and Lily just stood there, hand under her elbow, smile fading, fading, until her eyes lifted to the window beside the front door.

She could hear sirens. Faint, but they were there.

Only question was, who were they for?

It's hard to tell in a house of murderers.

Lily put the phone back in its cradle. "Hey, Randy?"

She heard him coming, the tiny feet of Holly following in her daddy's footsteps.

They were finally going to settle down.

"What, Lily? I almost got him but he was sneaky about it. Must get it from me."

Lily sighed happily and turned, her hands slapping against her sides. "Get the children's coats."

Randy frowned, glancing down at Holly. "Why?"

Lily smiled at her new daughter, at her new son, at her _wonderful _husband.

They were finally going to be the _perfect fucking family._

"We're just going for a _little _ride."

**A/N: So. You guys get it, right? I don't have to spell it out for you, **_**right**_**? You can **_**use your brains**_**, right? I hope you've enjoyed this journey. This is some of my best work, in my opinion. I hope you had as much fun as I have.**

**And look! I was even nice and left it open, so maybe a certain sequel could be written someday. Who wants that? Review! Review, and all your wildest, sex-filled Randy dreams may come true. (Seriously. Review.) Whoever gets the 400th review gets a one shot with their choice of Superstar. (I hate that I have to bribe you guys but when you get 500 hits in 3 hours and only six reviews, you gotta take drastic measures!)  
**


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